“Mfundo, are you coming to eat?” I yell for him. I’d call him “boy boy”, but he is taller than me. I am up to his shoulder in height. He is tall like his father and he looks a lot like Mthunzi. He reminds me of how much Mohavi looked like Thabiso. I thought that over time, he would start looking like me. But Thabiso’s family had annoyingly strong genes. Everyone looked like someone whose umbilical cord is buried in Botswana. To think that both Thabiso and Mohavi have passed away – they must have had their father-and-son reunion in Heaven when Thabiso made his entrance. That’s if he earned his pass to Heaven and escaped hell after denying his child when his child’s mother was just a teenager. 

“Ngiyeza mah”, he responds. Yeah, he had a talk with his dad two days ago and now he calls me mah. I am not going in the room to see what is holding him up because he is a teenager. I don’t need to see what’s keeping him busy. I am just stressed out that I need to be at the Msomi’s house to help prepare lunch for the cleansing of Mbali’s death. I was there until late last night making umqombothiwith Mthunzi’s sister. She is rural, but she is hilarious. I know Mthunzi grew up in a township and not in the rural areas, so I had to ask why Nonhlanhla has an“emakhaya” vibe about her. Mthunzi explained that she married some chief and had to move to the homeland that he rules in KZN. Okay! I like her though! She is funny and inappropriate. I enjoy her loud mouthed company.  

Mrs Msomi wasn’t there. I know that she has moved out. Dikeledi told me that there was drama when Mthunzi kicked her and Siya out of the house. Dikeledi is my cousin. She has a lot of mouths to feed and was unemployed. Sindi needed the extra help, so I got Dikeledi. Her children are back home in Mafikeng, living with her parents. I haven’t had a chance to talk to Mthunzi. He is going through a lot, so I don’t want to bring up stuff that will depress him. But I know him, he has a good heart. No matter how upset he may be with Sindi, he wouldn’t keep her away from the cleansing. She was Mbali’s mother. 

Mfundo finally comes into the kitchen. He settles on a barstool and indulges in his breakfast as I try to tidy up in the kitchen. 
“Mah, what are you going to do with all that hair in the boxes? Is it all yours for like slay queen reasons?” He asks me. 
I chuckle. What are slay queen reasons exactly? 
“Nope. I’m studying and preparing to go into the beauty industry. I also do people’s hair. I bought the hair years ago. With lockdown, I got a chance to start sewing the hair together and make wigs. I’ll probably start selling them”, I explain. 
He nods his head as he swallows his food. Before he takes another bite of his food, he asks me, “Do you have a website where you will be selling it? Or social media, at least? You will make a lot of money. Girls don’t want to grow their own hair. They would rather pay a lot of money for other people’s hair.” Wow, Mfundo. Really? 

“A man shouldn’t be given the privilege of commenting on women’s hair. Our hair, our choice.” I say and he dies of laughter as I say this. I mean it, but we will let him think that I am joking. 

“Mah, the point is to make money from all of that hair and you can make serious money. You must just advertise it properly. You can’t rely on the township people to spread the word. And if the people in the township are your target market, you won’t make money out of it.” 
“You are very seasoned in this like your dad, neh“, I say. 
He smiles and says, “So I’ve been told. Mah, I also do digital media stuff and photography. Let me help you build your brand. Do you have a name for your brand, yet?” 
“Mohavi”, I say. 
“What does that mean?” He asks me. 
“Victor. It was my son’s name.” I say. 
“Was?” 
“Yeah, he passed away.” I say. 
He stops eating and looks at me. 
“I’m sorry mah“, he says. 
A tear races down my face. He sees me. He gives me my space. I am thankful for that. I am not at that stage yet where I can talk about Mohavi and not cry. I miss him every day. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder if it’s really true… have I really buried my son? Mthunzi tries to be there for me. In fact, he is. But there are feelings that only I can feel and there are moments that I just have to go through on my own. But I will heal eventually. 

When I gather myself, I say, “We need to get going, Mfundo. I need to help with the cooking”. 
He hurries with his food then rushes to finish up getting dressed.

As we prepare to leave, Mthunzi walks in. 
“Hey”, me. I am a bit shocked to see him. I thought we would meet up with him at his house. 
“You guys okay?” He asks us. 
“Yeah we good. You?” I ask. 
He doesn’t answer me. He doesn’t look well. I hug him. He holds onto me, seemingly wanting to cry. 
“Let’s just get through today, my love” I say. 
I feel him nod his head in our hug. 

…

Nonhlanhla, Mthunzi’s sister, has no filter. She is older than Mthunzi. Her mouth, Jehova! She and I are in charge of the pots and shame, we are doing the most. This food is delicious. Mfundo keeps coming to steal meat and disappearing. When he comes back again, Nonhlanhla swears at him. I get offended. 
“Don’t worry mah, she’s like this”, Mfundo says as he is deep in laughter and still eating out of the pots. 

The cleansing has happened. It happened in the morning so now, people are just eating and drinking. Mrs Msomi is here with her mother and Siya. I went to say hi to her earlier, but she was just herself- rude. So I am keeping my distance until she calls for me. 

“Koena, when are you going home? I am hoping that we can travel together.” Dikeledi says to me as we prepare to serve tea and scones to the guests that are present here. 

“Eisk Nkele, watsiba I haven’t been home since Mohavi – 

I cannot finish my sentence. She knows because she does not say anything, nor does she look at me. 

“You are not the only who lost him, Koena. Mangwane is also struggling to deal with his loss.” Mangwane is my mother. She calls her that. 

I don’t say anything. 

“Thabiso’s family is also going through the most. They lost Thabiso in such a short space of time after burying Mohavi.” She says. 

“Thabiso’s family didn’t even want Mohavi. Thabiso was in Mohavi’s life for five seconds and now they are suddenly going through the most? Please man.” 

“Heh eh, Koena! We don’t do that. We don’t say things like that about – 

“To answer your question, Dikeledi, I am not going to Mafikeng anytime soon. I need some space. Clearly I’ll be dealing with a lot of nonsense – especially from people who want to pretend as if they cared about Mohavi.” 

She looks at me. She actually judges me. She always has. Her parents, her siblings and her – they have always judged us. They accused my mother of thinking that she was better than everyone. They accused my father of using witchcraft on people. When I became a pregnant teenager, they had fun telling my parents how much of a forward child I have always been and how they shouldn’t be surprised that teenage pregnancy happened to me. When my elder sister got arrested, they had things to say as well. I was actually shocked when she reached out to me and asked for help. 

“At least phone your mother, Koena. She raised Mohavi for you. Don’t forget that.” She says. 

I leave her here and go find Nonhlanhla in kitchen. She is better company than Dikeledi. 

Nonhlanhla and I are now washing the dishes. I am still in a bit of a mood after the conversation that I had with Dikeledi. I am just put off.
“So, is Mthunzi really as good as people say he is in bed?” Nonhlanhla asks me. 
I almost break the dish that I am washing when she says that. 
“Calm down, Hai Bo! Your secret is safe with me. Besides, Mthunzi told me a while ago about you. I’m just inspired by your bravery! Sleeping with your employer’s husband, ntombi? Hai khona!” She says. 

I am feeling a little bit shitty about that. Thanks Nhlanhlo! 

“So, is he good?” She insists on this question. 
I don’t say anything. Why would she want to know such information about herbrother? 
“He must be if his son is also calling you “mah” now”, she says. 
She chuckles, but I’m not laughing. This is highly inappropriate and not funny. 
Siya runs to me. 
“Hey my boy. How’s it going at your gogo’s house?” I ask him. 
“Daddy doesn’t want me anymore, Zelda”. Siya says. 
“Is that what your mother told you?” Nonhlanhla. Her tone is just not nice. 
Siya nods his head and says, “He kicked my mom and I out of our home, so we live with gogo now. Well, I live with gogo in Diepkloof. Mommy lives somewhere else, but she comes to see me everyday unless she is on business trips”, Siya says. 
“Siya, why are you discussing your business with strangers?” Pearl, Mrs Msomi’s friend, says. I don’t even know where she came from. She just appeared. 
“Zelda is not a stranger”, Siya says. 
“Zelda is just everywhere for my liking. I’m beginning to find you a little suspicious. Nobody is this motivated to be amazing at scrubbing toilets”, Pearl says. 
What did I ever do to this woman? Today, she is flying solo. Where is her husband? 
“Miss Pearl –
“Pearl, I’m ready to leave.” Mrs Msomi says. 

Pearl drops the cup of tea that she is holding and the cup shatters, the tea spilling on the floor. 
“CEO of domestic services, clean it up!” She says to me. 
“Don’t touch that! Who does this woman think she is?” Nonhlanhla. 
“Pearl, can we please just go. I don’t want to be here anymore”, Mrs Msomi. 
“Tell this whore to clean this up!” Pearl says. 
She is scaring me now. She can’t possibly know, can she? 
“Pearl, asambe!” Mrs Msomi is getting angry and loud now. 
“Sindi – Mrs Mthunzi Msomi – mama kaMbali, this is YOUR house! This oneis just a cleaner in this house. Tell her that her place is in your kitchen and toilets, not in your bed with your husband”, Pearl says. 

The look that Mrs Msomi gives me! 

Also, when did Dikeledi get in here? She is going to phone everyone in Mafikeng and tell them. I just know! Can the floor just swallow me up now? I am so embarrassed. I feel my cheeks burning up and my heart beating faster than usual. My stomach is in knots and my body suddenly feels as if it’s in pain. 

“What?” Me. My voice is stuck in my throat. My hands are shaking. 
“This perfume! I smell it on Mthunzi every time we work together or have to meet for meetings. This is the whore that is fucking your husband!” Pearl says. 
“Seriously Pearl? A scent? That is your evidence? Anyone can be using similar perfumes”, Mrs Msomi says. 
“Then tell her to deny it.” Pearl says. 
I look at her. 
“I know the signs, Sindi. Thomas has put me through this for years. I know the signs!” Pearl is shouting now. 
Nonhlanhla is hanging onto me. She is as scared as I am. 
“What’s going on here? Sindi, do I need to call the police to get you out of my house?” Mthunzi appears out of nowhere and says. 

Do these people realise that I am an employee in this house? Why am I being subjected to such? 
I remove myself from the situation, taking Siya with me. I keep busy with the guests. Dikeledi keeps trying to get close to me. She is not being here for me. She wants to verify facts. She needs verified facts to share with her parents. I am dodging her and just keeping away from her. I also just feel like opening the door and sprinting out of here. Actually, let me do just that. There is yelling coming from the kitchen. The guests have now also stopped talking and are focusing on the yelling that is happening between Sindi, Pearl and Mthunzi – oh, featuring Nonhlanhla. I need to get out of here. But Mfundo finds me first. He finds me shaking and he rubs my back.

“I have to get out of here, Mfundo. You and your dad will find me at my place.” I say. 

Mfundo just holds onto me, restraining me from leaving. But he doesn’t say anything to me. 

“You have no right to be asking me such questions, especially because you have been fucking Siya’s father all these years! You even tried to push another man’s son onto me and you have the audacity to ask me this shit when I was at least decent enough to separate with you before impregnating the woman that I actually love!” Mthunzi is yelling. 

I need to run. I need to leave this house and run away. Mfundo holds onto metighter. 

“So you cheat with the help because she’s been cheating with a man who is above your pay grade? At least she respected you in her choice of infidelity. Wena? The help, Mthunzi? The fucken help?” That’s Pearl.  

What’s wrong with this woman? Would it have been better if he had cheated with her?

“Pearl naweSindi – get the fuck out of my house! Voetsek!” Mthunzi yells back. 
“Batshele bhuti! I’ll help you throw them out futhi“, Nonhlanhla. 

A few minutes later, Pearl and Sindi walk out of the kitchen. Everyone is now staring at them. Sindi walks up to me. I can genuinely feel my armpits sweat. I am sure even my forehead is covered with sweat now. Dikeledi is now next to me. While I know that my cousin enjoys laughing at my misfortunes, I have a mustard seed of hope inside of me that in public, she will at least defend me. Mfundo is the fearless one who is ready to help his father throw Sindi out of here. 

Sindi and I look at each other. She slaps me. Mfundo stands up for me, standing between Sindi and I. Him obviously in front of me. 
Sindi talks over Mfundo’s shoulder saying, “I trusted you. I let you into my home, my businesses! I let you have access to my children in a way that nobody else has access. This is how you do me?” 
I am crying now. My cheek is still recovering from the slap. 

“Why, Zelda? Why?” 

This would be so much easier if she was being her bitchy self. But it’s the pain in her tone that is getting to me the most. I want to say that I am sorry. I want to tell her that I will stop seeing him. But none of it would be true. I love Mthunzi. 

Sindi wipes a tear off her face and shakes her head. 

“You know what shocks me the most? Your ability to support me, be there for me, do everything that I needed of you, lure me to trust you, while you retire next to my husband every night.” 

Now the room is filled with people in disbelief, judging me and calling me names. 

“Is he worth it?” She asks me. 

“I know that you are hurting”, I finally speak and everyone is in shock!

“But none of this was intended to hurt you. None of it was about you. Yes, the consequences were always going to leave someone hurt in the situation, but what Mthunzi and I share is beyond thinking about what it would do to you.” 

“You actively and willingly participated in ruining my marriage! You recklessly trashed my marriage and did not give a damn about how it would impact Siya! Then you stand there and tell me that it was beyond my feelings?” She yells. But the pain is still stuck in her voice. She is trying to be vicious, but her love for Mthunzi restrains her. 

“Sindi, why are you even having this conversation? Take a knife, cut this whore’s nipples, take Mthunzi to the cleaners for maintenance and let’s move on. These whores don’t deserve to see us squirm.” Pearl says. 

Why is this woman like this? Why? For what? 

“The only thing that I will apologise for is what this situation did to you. I am so sorry that it hurt you. I really am. But I will not apologise for loving him. Because I do love him. And he loves me. And we make each other happy. I refuse to apologise for that!” I am sincere in my tone, but the end of my sentence is met with Sindi climbing over Mfundo and attacking me. At some point she throws a glass at me and it hits the side of my neck, causing a slight cut. The commotion in the TV room is making me dizzy and Sindi is now being carried away from me by Mfundo.   
“SINDI! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?” Mthunzi charges towards her. 
Sindi grabs Siya and her mother. They leave. 

“Bathung Koena! You sleep with people’s husbands now?” Dikeledi. 

Mfundo and Mthunzi look at her. Tears are streaming out of my eyes and I am using a serviette to clean the blood on the side of my neck. 

“So you left Mafikeng to come and be changed by this place? Are you trying to follow your sister to prison? Because that’s what will end up happening if – 

“Thank you, Dikeledi. That’s enough!” Mthunzi says. 

“Sisi, are you okay?” Nonhlanhla is helping me stop the bleeding. 

“Come, sit down”. She says as she pulls me towards the closest chair. 

“Koena!” 

“Can you just fuck off, Dikeledi! Please, just leave me alone!” 

I am so humiliated. I am so ashamed. 

“I am going home”, I say. 

“I’ll drive –

“No, it’s fine.” I interrupt Mthunzi. He is hurt by this. I just get up and leave like I should have the minute Pearl dropped that cup of tea.  
…

I get home and shower. Then I get into my pyjamas and just sit on my bed and cry. I want to phone Sindi and explain. This is not how this was supposed to be. I don’t know how I thought things would turn out, but I wasn’t ready for a turn out like this. I start dialling Sindi’s number. Before I can tap on my touch screen cellphone to dial her, I wonder what I am going to say to her when she answers my phone. What can I say?

Mfundo and Mthunzi arrive. I hear the gate opening. I get into the blankets and pretend to be sleeping. I am not ready to talk. I am just not. 

They come into the house and I hear them chatting in the kitchen. Mthunzi comes into the bedroom and finds me “sleeping”. 

He climbs onto the bed and wraps himself around me. This just makes me cry. I don’t know why. I just do. Now he can also see that I am not really sleeping. 

“Baba, is mah okay?” Mfundo asks. 
“Mfundo, please give us some space”, Mthunzi says.
” Mah, ushup?” Mfundo asks me. He is in front of me now. 

I nod my head. He is not convinced.
“I’m good, fanas.” I say. 
He gives me a mischievous smile. Mthunzi and I look at him, searching for the joke. I wipe my tears and sit up on the bed. 
“Mah, I’m too tall to be fanas“, he says. 
The three of us laugh aloud. 
“What must I call you then? I mean, you call me mah”, I say. 
“Let me sleep on it”, he says. 
We laugh. 
He gives his father a handshake saying good night then hugs me and says good night. 

Mthunzi and I decide to leave the bedroom. We get to the TV room and settle on the couches. My house looks very homey now and super classy. Eish, but it is still an RDP house. But ke, I’m comfortable.
“Baby”, he begins. 
I look at him. 
“Are you okay?” Him. 
“I guess this was bound to happen eventually. I just feel so humiliated. I also feel bad for Siya. He doesn’t deserve any of this”, I tell him. 
“I do feel bad. But she won’t accept my child. Now, I must continue to raise hers?” He says. 
“What exactly happened?” I ask. 
“She’s been having an affair for years. The man that she is with bought me out of her businesses even though I gave her the start-up money. He is Siya’s father. She has never left him. It’s not possible to be with someone for that long and not love him. They even share a child together. I think it’s time to just let it go”, he says. 
“And nna? What am I doing in your life? Why did you pick me? I mean, I just got slapped, attacked and stabbed in the neck for you”, I say. 
“I didn’t choose you, my heart did. I love you and I want to be with you – like this – with Mfundo – forever. Thank you for opening your home and your heart to him”, he says. 
I nod my head. 
I take a deep sigh. 
He holds my hand.

My phone rings. It is an unknown number. He stands up and heads to the kitchen. He isn’t the type that gives me space to take a call, so he must really need something in the kitchen. 
“Hello?” I answer my phone. 
“Hello. I need to talk to you about Mr Dipale’s will please. This is urgent”, the white man says. It must be that lawyer. 
“How many times must I tell you that Thabiso is married and I’m not his wife?The son we had together has passed away. I cannot take his money”, I say. I am frustrated now. 
“Can we at least meet up and discuss this? Please? At least hear what I have to say then make your decision”, he says. 
“Fine! But I’m not in Mafikeng, so I don’t know where we will meet.” I say. 
“I am based in Johannesburg.” He says. 
“Fine. Send me your details. I will let you know when we can meet”, me. 

After I hang up, I feel Mthunzi’s presence behind me. 

“Who was that?” He asks me. 
“Thabiso’s lawyer. Thabiso is dead. There is money that he left for Mohavi. But now that Mohavi has passed as well, apparently the money should come to me”, I explain. 
“You don’t need his money. I take care of you and you take care of yourself”, he says. 
“I know that. I told this lawyer the same thing. He insists that I at least hear him out”, I say. 
“I’m not going through this again”, he says. 
“Through what?” I ask.
“Through another man buying the woman that I love”, he says. 
“I’m not Sindi. And if you love her so much, what are you still doing with me?Go be with her if she is where your heart is. But don’t you EVER compare me to her ever again!” I am highly upset. 
“Koena”, he tries to calm me down. 

“You actually full of shit, wena Mthunzi! After everything that has happened, where do you find the audacity to say that to me? Of everyone in this situation, I am the one who had the most to lose. I still chose you. Now you want to reduce me to – 

I need to breathe. I take a deep breath. 

“Koena – 

I just put up my hand and stop him from speaking. 

“I have had enough bullshit for today!” I say. 
I walk off and head to the bedroom. 
He follows me. I slam the door in his face. 

After a moment he says, “Baby, can we please talk about this. Please.” 
I ignore him. But now I’m also conscious of Mfundo being in the house. So I go open the door for him then head back to bed. He walks in and closes the door. 
“Go check if Mfundo is okay. He’s been listening to us argue. Make sure he’s fine.” I say. 
“He’s fine”, he says. 
“Mthunzi, check on Mfundo”, I say. 
He leaves and goes into Mfundo’s room.

I get a text message. It is from Sindi. After she slapped and attacked me, I can call her Sindi now. The message reads:
“You are fired with immediate effect and you can tell your boyfriend that I am suing him for infidelity. He must have forgotten about the infidelity clause in our prenuptial agreement. You will find him with what I found him with – nothing but his degree. You will never have my house.” 

I read the text about three times. Mthunzi walks in and sees me shaking my head to the text. 

“Koena?” Him. 
I give him my phone. He reads the text.