Today is my graduation. I am graduating with my Masters of Art Cum Laude. I couldn’t be more excited. My parents are here and will be driving down with us to my ceremony. I’m also heavily pregnant and I’m praying with my all that I don’t go into labour during the course of today. This child has to let me walk that stage and collect my degree. That’s all I ask.

“Baby, what’s going on with Fikile and Khotso?” I ask Ona as he zips up the dress that I am wearing.

“Fiks doesn’t know that we know what she has done”, he tells me. 

“What exactly is Khotso planning to do?” I ask him. 

“Don’t worry about that today. This is your day and I don’t want you worrying about anything else that doesn’t make you happy.” He says as he now kisses me. He looks so good! 

“I’m so worried that your child might just want to force himself into the world today. I have been having slight cramps since this morning.” 

“Are you going to be okay for the day?” 

“I hope he lets me be okay.” 

We kiss again. 

My mother makes us all pray before we leave the royal house. No one objects, but morena seems slightly annoyed. Khotso and Ona are on their cellphones and Fikile is just here looking extremely excited. Everyone looks nice, I must say. 

After the prayer, a photographer arrives and we take some family photographs together. They are going to be beautiful. I can just see them already. Khotso told Fikile that she cannot be part of the photographs and this hurt her a little bit. I hope that this day is not going to be awkward. 

My husband looks incredibly hot! All these girls are looking at the Mohale twins and drooling. Fikile is here with her man. I extended an invite so I could do my part in investing in our relationship. Something tells me that I may have made a mistake. Things are a bit weird between her and Khotso. Khotso struggles to touch her these days and she sees it. It pisses her off, but her mood is not consistent. Sometimes she’s fine – like today – and her motto is LG (life’s good). Then she randomly slips into an unexplainable depression. She has also formed a strange and seemingly life-long relationship with Ngono-Mathabo. I thought the friendship would be over now that Fiks got the pregnancy that she has been wanting. I just don’t know with this girl, man. She thinks we are close because she believes that I haven’t said anything about the pregnancy and her paternity issue. Maybe she should not have come today. Ona and Khotso are not letting me in on the plan and a part of me is thankful for that. I want no part in it anyway. Ona’s parents are here to watch me graduate as well and Queen Kea seems to be the most proud of me.

The ceremony begins and it’s all honestly a blur. As it comes closer to my name being called, I get some very strange cramps. Listen here, this baby better not do this to me. I will not go into labour on stage. Please. I refuse to be that girl! I’ll trend for days on end and my poor child will be labelled “Cum Laude”. 

“Regodise Lehakoe Mohale”, my name is announced. My father is the only person on this planet that calls me Lehakoe. Interestingly, I like Lehakoe better than Regodise. Lehakoe tells me that my parents really saw me as a blessing in their life together. Lehakoe means treasure and when my father calls me that, I feel like I am treasure in their lives. I am walking on the stage now. I am smiling, but I feel my entire body getting ready to give birth. I embrace my moment on stage – a moment I have worked very hard for. Fikile is screaming somewhere and she has a camera with her, taking pictures. I spot her next to the hired camera person who was hired by the university. That’s so nice of her. Wow. I see Khotso, Ona, their parents and my parents standing and clapping for me. As I get off the stage, I walk straight to Fikile and pull her with me outside.

Now I’m in pain.

“Are you okay?” She asks me.

“Fiks, I think I’m in labour. I’m in pain and liquid is running down my legs.” 

Her eyes just get bigger.

Now I’m breathing heavily.

She removes herself from me and she peeps through the door, signalling with her hand that someone must walk towards her. 

My back is against the wall now, literally. I feel hot. I take off my graduation gown.

Ona, Khotso and their mother appear before me. They are all traumatized at the sight before them – especially Khotso. Ona’s mom is the only person who makes the suggestion of a car being brought around. Ona carries me to the parking lot or wherever we will be meeting up with the car. Khotso is holding my graduation regalia and my certificate. Fikile has my bag and I don’t know what else. 

“Don’t drop me, Ona.” I say to him. 

“I won’t. I promise.” He says.

After what feels like a year, we are in Khotso’s car and Khotso is driving us to the hospital. Ona is sitting with me at the backseat. Fikile is with Khotso in the front seat.

“Do you think I’m going to lose the baby?” I ask in panic.

“Don’t talk like that. You are going to be okay.” Ona says.

“I’m so scared. This baby feels like it’s right by the entry of my vagina.” I say. 

“Khotso, unless you want this baby born in this fucken car, you need to step on that fuckenaccelerator.” Ona says.

I feel Khotso drive a lot faster. 

Ona is next to me when we hear one hell of a scream in the room after I have pushed my heart out into this world. I see him laughing and I’m relieved. I know my child is okay. The baby is put on my chest and Ona is called to cut the umbilical cord. He is so happy. I have never seen him this happy. He takes off his t-shirt and is told to lie down on some couch. The baby is now put on his chest. I wish I had my phone to take this picture. I’ve never seen a more perfect sight in my life. I smile at them. I feel so exhausted. I just want to sleep –

I wake up to a rainy afternoon and I see Ona sitting with his mom and my mom on my left. Khotso, Fikile, Pule, Kefe, Serathi, morena and my dad are scattered across the room. 

Pule and Kefe are here? Do they like us now? Or are they here to kill my child and me? I don’t trust family members that flip flop through their opinions of me. Those types of people are very dangerous and I don’t know how I feel about having them in here with me while I am in such a fragile state.    

Ona smiles at me. 

“Hello daddy”, I whisper. 

Everyone looks at me and I’m getting hugs and balloons and flowers and and and… I’m so tired.

“Thank you, mommy”, Ona says to me as he hugs me.

“Where is he?” I ask. 

“They’ll bring him in a bit.” He says. 

“Okay. What’s his name?” I ask.

“We were waiting for you to wake up then we could name him.” Ona says. 

I nod my head and sit up on my hospital bed. My child is brought in a little cot, wrapped in a beige baby blanket. Thank God it’s not blue.

Ona picks him up and hands him to Khotso. Khotso starts speaking to him, calling upon their clan names and saying them to him as he rocks my baby in his arms. 

“Mohale”, Ona’s mother says. 

We all look at her. 

“His name is Mohale.” She says. 

Ona smiles. I smile at him. 

“You like it?” He asks me.

I nod my head.

“Mohale Mohale it is.” Ona says.

My baby Mohale is now in morena’s arms, he is talking to him too using the Mohale clan names. My parents feel left out in all of this. But I’m glad that they are here to also witness all this. And my mom is looking like a bae! I love this influence that the queen has over my mom.

“Can we also give him a name?” My father says.

Everyone looks at them as if they have no right to name their grandchild.

“Sure”, Ona says. 

I see my mother get excited and she walks up to morena, takes Mohale from him, and holds him in her arms and starts singing to him. Then she says, “We must pray and thank God for the safe delivery of this child.” 

Morena is not impressed. Khotso and Ona are giggling. Queen Kea gives them a sharp look and they now bow their heads. My mother breaks into song first. 

My mother has a powerful voice – one that I inherited from her. Apparently, she used to sing in shebeens and in stage productions back in the day. She was a performer and she was gorgeous – still is gorgeous. There is this one picture of her framed in our house. She is wearing an afro wig and is performing on stage. My father plays the saxophone. In the picture, he is playing the saxophone as my mother sings and performs on stage. My dad always says that’s the night I was conceived. I honestly didn’t need to know that part of the picture’s story. I inherited the voice from my mother, but I only got to sing in church. I have been a lead singer in the choir since I was twelve years old. People who have heard me sing say that my singing gives them chills – a Ntokozo Mbambo effect of some kind. 

Now, my mother is praying. Ona keeps squeezing my hand as if he wants me to look at him. I don’t want to look at him because I know he wants to make me laugh. We are in the middle of prayer… I mean. Morena gets tired of the prayer that refuses to end, so he starts saying amen. My mom thinks he is saying amen to what she is asking the Lord for. But morena wants the prayer over and now even I am giggling with Ona and Khotso. It takes my dad saying AMEN with quite the emphasis for my mom to finally say, “In Jesus’ name, amen.” 

I don’t even know how to describe the moment. 

“We are naming him Tlotlo”, my father says. Oh ja, this praise and prayer started with them wanting to name my son. Also, my dad needs to tell us if he has hidden treasures somewhere that we need to know about. Lehakoe and Tlotlo mean the same thing – treasure. But I like it. Tlotlo is perfect. The Mohales might have an issue with it because Tlotlo is Tswana. Lehakoe is seSotho. 

“Lehakoe la pelo yaka gave birth to Tlotlo ya le lapa laka”, my dad says. Now that’s beautiful – powerful, actually. 

“I love it”, Ona says. 

“It’s absolutely perfect. He really is Tlotlo ya runa. I think it should be Tlotloyaruna”, the queen says. What a way to combine mine and Ona’s names. 

“What about Lehakoelaruna”, Khotso is now showing off. I love it all! But we all giggle because he went there. Lehakoe is just more feminine and Tlotlo is perfect for guys – it’s just a Tswana name and I knew the Mohales wouldn’t mess with a Tswana name for their first grandson or any other grandchild for that matter.

My dad smiles and nods his head. I guess my child is Mohale Lehakoelaruna Mohale. I love it!

Ona gets to sleep over, but everyone else has to go. I don’t even know where my phone is, but I hope it’s safe wherever it is. I’ll be discharged tomorrow, so I’m good.

“I was thinking that you and Mohale could go to Mohase with your father and me when you get discharged tomorrow.” My mom tells me. 

The looks that everyone gives her! 

She notices the look too.

“Regodise is a first time mother. I need to teach her things and help her out. Ona travels a lot and she cannot be alone to figure things out when the baby is so small.” My mom continues.

“But Mme Thibane, re teng. I’m there and I’ll definitely help her.” Ona’s mom.

“You live inside the main house and she is outside with Ona. It’s not the same.” 

“She can always move inside the house until she can be outside again”, morena says in a not-so-nice tone.

“Can you at least think about it?” My mom asks me. 

“You can always stay with us until the baby is a bit grown.” Ona’s mother.

“I’d rather she goes home”. My mom. 

“This is a Mohale child. His umbilical cord needs to fall and be buried in our yard. He goes nowhere until that happens”, morena is so rough with my poor mother hle.

“Morena, Mohale is our child too.” My dad finally says something. I think it has something to do with “Tlotlo” being finalised as “Lehakoelaruna” as named by Khotso. He smiled though. I thought he liked it. Or maybe it’s the principal of the process. No one disputed or gave alternative suggestions to Mohale, but everyone had something to say about Tlotlo and it ended up being changed completely. 

Morena looks insulted by what my father just said.

“Ona, you are the child’s father. Make a call.” Morena says.

I really feel bad about how my parents are feeling right now. I am suddenly thankful that my child is a boy. If he were a girl and one day had to put me through what the Mohales are putting my family through, Ona and I would not be as calm as my parents are being right now. 

All eyes are on Ona now.

“I think Mohale can be at the royal house until his umbilical cord falls off. Then Mohale, Regodise and I will drive down to Mohase and spend a few weeks there with the Thibane ancestors. But he will be back at the royal house for his first haircut.” Ona.

My parents look at me as if they are expecting me to say something. I honestly don’t know what to say.

My mom takes her bag, kisses me goodbye and tells me she will see me when we come to Mohase. She and my dad are going back to Mohase RIGHT NOW.

Hawu?! 

My dad doesn’t even say goodbye.

Tense! 

“I hope he sleeps this peacefully when we are at home”, Ona says.

“It would be nice to have the peace and quiet when it’s lights out.” I say.

“Do you want to move into the main house?” He asks me. 

I shake my head.

He nods his head.

“My mom will come stay with us outside.” He says.

“Something is going on with my parents”, I say.

“Yeah, I picked it up too. Do you want me to try and find out?” Ona.

“What are you going to do?” I ask.

“Just ask around”, him. 

We both laugh. 

“I think my mom needed Mohale and me there for the distraction, you know?” 

“But that’s not fair. My wife and my son are not distractions.” 

“I don’t mean it that way, babe.” 

“I hear you.”

“What if they are getting a divorce?” I say. 

“Old people don’t get divorces. Divorce has an expiry age. Once you have passed that age, you just tolerate the bullshit until one of you kick the bucket.” 

We both laugh at this. I sometimes forget that the man that I married thinks on his own wavelength. 

“I’m thinking of throwing my mom a 65^th birthday party. Mohale will be three months old on mama’s birthday, so I should be able to pull it off.” I say. 

“I’m not against that. What do you need?” 

“I wanted to theme it Sofiatown and have them perform on a stage in front of everyone. When I look at the pictures where they were their happiest, they were on stage performing. There’s this one specific picture on our wall at home that I want us to recreate at their birthday party.” 

He laughs and says, “So we must all wear wigs and clothes that make us look like we’ve just been spat out of nineteen-voetsek?” 

We both laugh at this and I say, “It will give you a good glimpse of what you will look like when you are grey and have hip problems and can no longer sex me like you do now.” 

He laughs aloud and says, “Me? Hip problems? Never! I’m going to be a charming hunk until the day I die.” 

“I think it’s a good idea though. I don’t want them to feel as if they’ve lost you. We didn’t steal you from them. We just have to do things the right way. Mohale’s umbilical cord has to fall in our yard and his baby hair has to be buried in our yard. After that, he can go to Mohase whenever your mother asks for him.” Ona explains. 

“Your mom is obsessed with him already. Khotso is obsessed with him already. You are obsessed with him already. I am obsessed with him. My child goes nowhere without me!” I say. 

He laughs and says, “I want to hear you say that in front of your mama while she is throwing us skemp looks.” 

We just laugh aloud. I am so thankful that I am in a single ward. Ona and I are actually making a noise. 

“Let’s take a walk.” He says.

“Why? Don’t you feel like sleeping? Your son has finally gone to sleep.” 

He smiles at me.

“I want to show you something. Come on, trust me.” He says. 

He helps me get out of bed. I guess I do need the walk. My body feels like crap. My stomach is – 

He holds my hand and we walk to outside of the hospital. He takes me to the parking lot. There are people here. Lots of people – doctors, nurses, cleaning staff and randoms. 

What’s going on? 

I look at him. He seems to be quite proud of what he is about to pull off. 

I see a Mercedes Benz banner as we walk closer to the crowd. 

Is this what I think it is? 

I finally see the big event – a navy blue Mercedes Benz GLE coupe. There is a board next to it that reads “Congratulations on your graduation, my love”. 

Okay, I cannot hold it in. I’m screaming and running around the car! What?! A whole Benz?! Such a sexy Benz?! He seems so happy with himself. 

“When?! Ona?!” I say between my screams and laughter and excitement. 

“It was meant to be a graduation gift, but now it’s also a push present. Surprise!” He says as he laughs. 

Oh man… I wish I could take pictures, but I look so horrible. My stomach is just so – 

I just hug my husband and say thank you. We kiss. 

I can definitely get used to this life!

…

Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Onaleruna Mohale and I am a father :-).

I’m so happy. My beautiful wife has made me a father and I never thought a little human being would make me feel this good. 

A lot of things got interrupted yesterday. After Regodise’s graduation, she was supposed to get home and we reveal her big gift – her car. Then she was meant to walk into a baby shower hosted by Teboho and my mother – the two powerhouses of Tholoana Kingdom, so you can imagine how much preparation went into that EVENT (and I say event because that’s what it looked like). But she went into labour and now my son, Mohale Lehakoelaruna Mohale, is here. Because people cannot see the baby yet, including Fikile because she’s not family yet and is cheating on my brother because she’s pregnant and he is not the father, all the gifts have been left with my mother. Regodise and I will unwrap them when we get home today. Regodise doesn’t know anything about them yet. Khabane even bought a gift for Mohale and apparently Mohale bought a gift in heaven for Khabane. I don’t doubt for a second that Tebza and Dise are good mothers. They are probably up there with the likes of my mother. But I have a serious problem with them starting the father Christmas and tooth fairy lies this early in the children’s lives. A gift from heaven? Seriously? 

The doctor is discharging Dise and Mohale. My mom and Khotso walk in just as this is being done. We are getting hugs and the energy is just so beautiful. Someone still needs to explain to me how and why Pule and Kefe were here yesterday when my son was born. My mom takes Mohale from Dise, Khotso takes bags from me and I’m just holding some baby bag that the hospital gave to us. The doctor finally leaves and it’s time for us to go. 

“We got a meter taxi here. We all want a ride in that beast you just bought”, Khotso says. 

We all laugh as we make our way to the car.

We get to the house and we find that my mom has moved into our flatlet. We don’t mind. We really don’t mind. We are going to need the help. There are also presents all over our living room and TV room.

“Ona! You and surprises though”, she says.

“This wasn’t me. Tebza had a whole baby shower planned for you. So these are all the gifts from the shower.” I tell her. 

She seems moved by this.

“She is so sweet. I need to phone her and say thank you.” 

That would be nice and I let her know. 

She starts dialling Tebza and disappears to upstairs with Mohale in her arm.

“Do you feel safe here?” My mom randomly asks me.

Where did that come from? Khotso looks like he wants to run out.

“Le wena Khotso, do you feel safe?” What’s with my mother today?

“We feel okay, mama. We feel like how we feel everyday”, I say. 

She nods her head.

“If you feel anything – anything at all – let me know”, she says.

She gets weird sometimes. 

“Why were Kefe and Pule at the hospital? That made me feel unsafe.” I say. 

“Guys, you are all Reahile’s children. You need to get along.” She says. 

“No mama. You of all people should understand when energies are just not aligned, especially around the birth of my child. I didn’t need to deal with them being there when my child was being born.” 

My mom is not happy. 

Then Khotso says, “Mah, you need to respect the line that has been drawn between us and them just like we respect the line that has been drawn between you and your parents and sisters.” 

I want to laugh because my mom could swing a slap at him any minute. But, I am glad he is saying this because she needs to stop forcing this family. 

“I just feel like Reahile would never forgive me if his children just separated like that and I did nothing about it. He doesn’t believe in family not being together and not being there for each other.”

“Mama, do you realise that all our lives, you’ve extended yourself to accommodate them and didn’t take five minutes to look at how we were doing? They treat us as if we are not his kids and as if we have no right to his memory and you let them. When it came to them, we had to fend for ourselves and you know what, mama, morena was more of a parent to us than what you were when it came to defending us from them. We are the ones who always had to understand and they were the only ones that were allowed to act out because they were hurt. Mama, we were hurt too. We may have never met him, but he is our father too and we have every right to his memory too. And I have every right to not want Kefe and Pule around my child.” 

My mom sits down on the couch next to her and she gets emotional. She takes a loud sigh and says, “I’m sorry. I really am.” 

Khotso and I sit next to her. Khotso then says to her, “Mom, you are a brilliant mother. Wherever dad is, he is proud of you. You did your best. Even he will forgive you if you just let things be at this point. Mah, I know that you resent morena for what happened to our dad, but you need to find a way to be happy again. We don’t like morena for how much he has hurt you by killing dad, but we respect him for loving you. You are the only person and thing on this planet that can get morena scared and anxious.” 

We all laugh at this because it is very true. 

“Mama, we are not going to be upset with you for embracing his love, respect and protection. He loves us no matter how much we push him away. There isn’t a thing he wouldn’t do for us even though we refuse to call him our father – all because he loves and respects you.” Khotso says. 

“Mah, we are not going to be upset with you for being happy.” I say. 

“It’s time, mama. You need to let dad go. You need to let him rest in peace. His part on earth is done. You keep hanging onto him and we miss out on you. We are almost thirty, mama, and we can count on one hand the amount of times that we have seen you be TRULY happy – euphoric from the soul. Don’t you think we deserve to see you happy?” Khotso says. 

My mom is crying now. Then she says, between her sobs, “I loved Reahile. I’m so scared that if I let him go, it will be as if I forgot about him and that I gave Mohato his children.” 

“Mama, we know who we are. You’ve done a good job at teaching us about him. His memory will never die. We are his lineage and it will never die. But you cannot mourn him forever. You need to live again and stop floating through life. We need you to live again. Your grandson needs you to live and love and laugh again. For us, just try. Please.” Khotso. 

I need to lighten up this mood, so I say, “Besides mama, morena is a good-looking motherfucker. No one can ever be mad at you for letting him, his charm and his power keep you happy. Don’t insult God’s blessings in your life when He has made a very powerful man love you the way that morena loves you.” 

She bursts into laughter and hits me on my wrist. Khotso laughs aloud too. 

I laugh too, but I’m really glad that Khotso and I had this talk with her. Maybe we should think about planning a holiday or something for the family, but have activities for just the two of them that will help them build. I’ll talk to Dise about it. She will know what to do. 

“We need to get going”, Khotso says now that no one is emotional and thinking about Kefe and Pule.

“Going?” I enquire. Even my mom is looking at him. I just brought my kid back home.

“Yeah. Come on. I’ll have you back in no time.” He says.

“Khotso!” My mom. 

“Where are you going?” When did Regodise get back into the kitchen?

“We just meeting up with a few people. I promise you. We will be back before the sun sets.” Khotso explains, but Regodise is giving him a look. Regodise and her looks! 

“Are you going to be okay?” I ask her.

She just looks at me and heads back to the bedroom. I’m not sure if I should even leave right now. 

I walk upstairs and close the main bedroom door when I get inside. She seems upset.

“Babe?” Me.

“It hasn’t even been a week and you already leaving me here for girls with no stretch marks and who have flatter stomachs”, she says.

What?! 

“Khotso wants us to go meet up with some people. How did you reach the conclusion that I’m cheating on you?” 

“Where could you possibly need to be the day that your son comes home for the first time? Is this how it’s going to be? You’ll just leave me here with your mom and your son while you go live your best life on the streets of Tholoana Kingdom because you don’t have stretch marks and stretched boobs to show that you have a child waiting for you at home?” 

“Regodise, I don’t even know where I’m going. How is any of this – 

“Just go, Ona! Tsamaya! I don’t know why you and your family just didn’t let me go with my parents when you know that you’ll be leaving me here all by myself the first chance you get!” 

This actually hurts my feelings. How could she say something like that?

My mom and Khotso walk into the bedroom. My mom pushes Khotso in and stares at him to say something. 

“Regodise –

“I’m not interested!” Regodise says then leaves the bedroom. She locks herself up in the bedroom next to the main bedroom. 

What just happened? 

“The gents just wanted to throw you a surprise nappy shower. We were going to meet up at Maboko’s place, have drinks, talk shit and give you nappies.” Khotso explains.

“Thanks, but it’s too soon. I need to be here with Regodise and Mohale and I can’t be fighting with her like this.” I say.

“I didn’t mean to start shit and I’m sorry. I’ll let the gents know that today can’t happen”, Khotso says.

We shake hands.

Mohale wakes up and starts crying.

My mom picks him up and soothes him. He is still crying, but he’s not screaming. 

“He is hungry”, my mom says.

We all look at each other. His food is in his mother’s boob and she is not talking to us right now.

I take my son from my mom and I ask my mom and Khotso to give us some space. They leave my flatlet and I knock on the locked door that Regodise is sitting in.

“Baby, please open. Mohale is hungry. Please.” I say as I knock.

I hear the door unlock and as soon as it opens, she takes Mohale from me. I push my way in and sit on a couch that I find in here.

She gives me a look. Her looks really frustrate me.

She sits on another couch and covers her boob and Mohale with one of Mohale’s light blankets.

“You hiding from me now?” I ask her.

She ignores me.

“The gents had planned a surprise nappy shower for me. Khotso was taking me there.”

No response.

“But I’m not going. I’m staying here with you”.

Nothing. She’s not even looking at me.

“Regodise, I’m not cheating on you. I have no plans of cheating of you. Your stretch marks and stomach and whatever else you see wrong on your body is not going to push me away. Your body carried my child and birthed it for me. I honour it. I don’t look at it and see an excuse to hurt you. I don’t want you hiding from me.” 

She is getting emotional now.

I really don’t understand what’s happening right now. I’d ask Maboko for advice, but he met his kid at the age of five so he missed all of this shit. Lucky man!

Let me go talk to morena. He was there for my mom and my mom is emotionally all over the place now, I’m sure she was worse after we were born.

I get up from the chair, kiss her cheek, then leave to go find morena. 

I find him in his office and uncle Shaka is here with him. Good, he’s also gone through drama after childbirth. They are on the phone, but they tell the people they are talking to that they will call them back when they see me at the door.

I walk in and throw myself on a couch. They both look at me. They start giggling.

“How’s fatherhood, son?” Morena asks me.

“I need your help.” I say.

“Okay?”

“Regodise is acting weird and emotional right now. I don’t know what to make of her feelings being all over place. One minute we are fine and the next, everything that could go wrong goes wrong. She feels insecure about her body then she starts accusing me of cheating on her. I just don’t know what she wants from me.” 

They look at me and laugh softly.

“Honestly, I don’t know if any man will ever get it right. But for me personally, I had to have my wife explain to me that sometimes, even women don’t know how their husbands can make these transitions in their lives better for them. They lose their individuality with every step that they take with their husband and it is not easy to not mourn what you lose – especially when you’ve known it all your life or if you’ve aspired towards it all your life.” Uncle Shaka tells me.

“Regodise went from being a student to being your wife in a very short space of time. Then she graduates and instead of having a graduation lunch, she becomes a mother within hours of walking the graduation stage. She started the year as Regodise Thibane and graduated as Regodise Mohale. And we all know that marrying men like us leaves very little room for her to be an individual. She’s part of you and she understands that. I guess at the moment, she needs assurance that you are part of her.” Morena says.

“So I need to make her feel like an individual again?” I enquire. 

“Ke motho wa hao, you are the one who needs to make sure that she’s secure. Le rona we had our fair share of trial and error. Sometimes we got our wives to laugh and sometimes we pissed them off to a point where they wanted nothing to do with us. But the important thing is that we never left. We woke up every morning prepared to make it a new day to try again. And at some point, we won them back.” Uncle Shaka.

“I said no to important business deals and social gatherings with peers and friends – just to be here with your mom and the two of you – you and your brother. Nna Kea wanted nothing to do with me. We had our shit, but I knew that it was my turn to persevere and be for her what I expected her to be for me when shit gets tough. It was difficult, but it was worth it.” 

I nod my head. Morena loves my mom and I respect him for that. My mom is the only person who turns this scary giant into a little bitch.  

“You’ll be good, son. Just be there.” Uncle Shaka says.

Now, they laugh at me and I cannot help but laugh too. Morena gives me a glass of whiskey and says, “Welcome to fatherhood, son. A husband and a father – you are a man now. I’m proud of you. And you are doing very well. You and your family are going to lead this beautiful kingdom very well one day.” 

…