Tee-le is away on training for the country’s squad now that the world cup is dawning upon us. He has been doing extremely well with his rehabilitation and now that he is playing his last few games (as he plans to retire after the world cup) he wants to give it his all. 

He will be back tomorrow and I am looking forward to him coming home. I miss him so much. I also need to go see my gynae today because I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. I am very nervous about this pregnancy, I will not lie. 

I have asked Renay to come to the doctor with me. I never thought that I’d ever be friends with Renay, but she has been real these past few months. 

My phone rings. 

“Hey babe”, I answer my phone. 

“Hey love, I’m downstairs. We can use my car”, Renay says.

“Okay, I am coming”, me. 

I hang up, grab my handbag and leave. 

The doctor confirmed that I am six weeks pregnant. She says everything looks okay and I just need some iron tablets. I smiled and nodded, took a picture of the scan and left the room with Renay. 

“Thuli, ushup?” Renay asks me.

“I’m just overwhelmed, I guess,” me.

“You are pregnant. This is a good thing. This is beautiful. Plus, Tee-le has been wanting a baby since forever”, she says.

“That’s exactly why I’m nervous. Khosi new that without a baby, things would end between her and Tee-le in the long run”, me. 

“I’m so confused, babe. A – you are not Khosi and b – you are about to give him the child he has always wanted. Also, you need to stop thinking about Khosi every time you feel some kind of insecurity in your relationship with Tee-le. He loves you”, she says.

“Renay, Yaya and I tried for years to fall pregnant. He had a child so obviously the problem wasn’t with him. I consulted doctors and spent money trying to get pregnant because it was discovered that I have PCOS and endometriosis. At some point, my tubes were even blocked. I underwent so much, Renay… medication, tests, you name it. Then with Tee-le… Renay, we weren’t even trying. And here I am, expecting his child.” I get emotional saying this to her. 

Renay holds my hand and smiles. 

“Some things are just entirely God’s plan. Sisi, pregnancy is a beautiful thing. You have to enjoy it. You are embarking on this journey with the man that you love and who is crazy about you. Let go of the negativity that will hinder you from enjoying this.” Renay.

I just sit in my seat and take all of this in.

My phone rings. It’s my baby-daddy. I smile at the phone as I see that he is video-calling me. Renay giggles. 

“Don’t mention anything about this baby”, I tell her. 

“Scout’s honour”, she says to me.

I answer. 

“Hello handsome”, me. 

“Hello gorgeous, you good?” He asks me. 

“I’m good. I’m having lunch with Renay”, I say.

“Hey!” Renay shouts. 

“I’m actually with Shack”, Tee-le says. 

“Where’s my baby?” Shack says, taking the phone from Tee-le. Renay takes the phone from me. These two chat on our phones for the longest time, then Tee-le eventually takes his phone from Shack and tells him to use his own phone to call his wife. 

“Wait Serame”, Shack says. “The two of you look like you are outside a hospital”. Shack says. 

I look around and we are actually sitting next to the hospital sign. Shit! 

Renay looks at me and bites her lip. 

“Baby, what’s going on?” Shack. 

“Uhm… I drove Thuli here”, Renay says. Great. 

“What’s wrong with Thuli?” I hear Tee-le ask. 

Renay hangs up. 

We look at each other. My phone rings again. I ignore it. Tee-le calls me again. I don’t answer. Renay’s phone rings. 

“Girl, I cannot lie to my husband. You have to tell Tee-le”, she says.

“This is not exactly something I can just mention over the phone”, I tell her. 

“These are extraordinary circumstances. They are going to be blowing up our phones until we say something because Tee-le probably thinks you are dying and he’s too far away to do anything. Just tell him. This is not the worst thing that could happen to you two”, she says.

Renay answers her phone and puts it on speaker. 

“Meshack”, Renay. 

“What’s going on, Reneiloe?” Shack is angry now. 

“What are you angry at me for? This is between Tee-le and Thuli”, Renay defends herself.

“Then tell Thuli to answer her phone”, I hear Tee-le say. 

“Can we talk about this when you get back?” Me. 

“No. Let’s talk about it now”, Tee-le. 

“Tee-le, come on. Please.” Me.

“Can you drive down tonight?” Tee-le. 

“That’s a four-hour drive.” I say.

“It’s either that or I come back home right now”, he says.

“Tee-le, you come back home tomorrow. This hullabaloo is so unnecessary”, I say. 

“Are you coming or not, Thulisile?” Tee-le firmly asks. 

“Fine. I’ll drive down.” I say. 

He hangs up without even saying goodbye. 

Renay and I speechlessly look at each other. 

…

I am lying in a pool of my own blood because Tyson found out that I was trying to reach out to Tee-le. Apparently, this was a running joke in the changing rooms. Word got around then Tyson came back home and beat me up, leaving me in a pool of my own blood. I miss Tee-le so much. We had our issues, yes. But, he never put his hands on me. I cannot even phone my mother or my sister. I am so embarrassed. I am so hurt. I think I am losing myself.

I finally gain the strength to wake up from the floor. I find my domestic worker somewhere in the house and I tell her to clean up my floor while I go and shower. She is used to my fights with Tyson. But with the NDA that she has signed, she is forced to be my broke best friend keeping all my secrets and cleaning up after my mess. 

The water hitting my body in the shower is such a painful experience. I am in so much pain. I put shower gel in my hands and I just massage it onto my body using my hands. Any other object would honestly make the pain worse. 

After I shower, I wrap myself in a towel. I take some pain killers and fall asleep. 

The following morning, my body is stiff. I am still badly bruised and moving from point A to point B is still painful, but I gather the strength to get out of bed, shower, cover my bruises with make-up, get into my Velar and drive to meet up with Kate. Kate was the third musketeer in mine, hers and Thuli’s trio. I put on a cap and a pair of shades just to ensure that my eye is well-hidden. 

“Hey hotness”, she greets me. 

I force my smile and greet her back, hurrying to sit down so that she does not hug me. 

“You look good, babe”, I tell her. 

“So do you! You were made to have money, girlfriend. That house. That car. Tyson is exactly what you would have never found in Tee-le. You did good with this one.” She says. 

I smile. I cannot exactly tell her that I miss Tee-le. I just got my ass beaten for trying to check up on him. 

“How’s everyone? How’s Thuli?” I ask. 

“Everyone is the same, babe. You not missing out on anything. Thuli… she’s friends with Renay, Paula and the invisible third and fourth. Her and Tee-le seem very happy. Yaya is getting used to seeing them together and he seems unhappily committed to his baby mama. We’ve all just got wedding invitations to Yaya’s wedding to his baby mama”, she says. 

“How’s Thuli taking that? That baby mama was always a sore thorn in Thuli’s side. Now all her suspicions have been proven right and there is a wedding to stamp on the pain? Shame man”, I say. 

“Babe, Thuli is happy with Tee-le. I don’t even think she cares about Yaya anymore”, she says. 

“Oh please. No one just forgets or moves on. She loved Yaya. They were together for years. Tee-le is just a rebound to her”, I say. 

“As Tyson is just a rebound for you?” She says. 

Tyson is an abusive asshole! Being a rebound is an upgrade for that animal. But I cannot say that. 

“Babe, are you okay?” She asks me. 

I’m at the brink of tears. I swallow my thoughts and tears then say, “I’m just worried about Thuli and Tee-le. Thuli doesn’t deserve what Yaya is doing to her and Tee-le doesn’t deserve being in the position of second-best to Thuli just because she’s dumped and wounded”, I say. 

“If that’s the case, then trust me, they are happy in their places of second best”, she says. 

On cue, Tee-le and Thuli walk into the restaurant and are holding hands. Thuli is glowing. She looks so happy. Tee-le is so handsome. His shoulders seem lighter and he seems so much happier. A tear falls voluntarily from my eye. Kate follows the direction of my look and lands on the couple that does not seem to have spotted us yet. 

“We can go, babe. We don’t need to be here”, Kate says. 

I don’t hear her, I just stand up and walk up towards Tee-le and Thuli. I stand in front of their table and they both look up to me. Tee-le looks annoyed and Thuli looks uncomfortable. 

“Sanibonani“, I greet them.

Thuli looks at Tee-le. 

“What do you want, Khosi?” Tee-le says to me.

“I’ve been trying to reach you. I wanted to check on how well you’ve been healing and congratulate you on making the country’s squad for the world-cup”, I say. 

Tee-le looks at me as if waiting for me to leave their table. 

“Tee-le, we don’t have to be enemies. Surely, we can still be friends? Do drinks together some time and catch up?” I say. 

“Wow!” Thuli says, standing up and grabbing her handbag. Tee-le stands up to, like a loyal dog doing as it is told. 

“Tee-le”, I call out to him. 

He and Thuli walk out of the restaurant without even looking back at me.

They get into the Benz that Tee-le supposedly bought for Thuli. Then they drive off without even giving me a chance to just…

…

“Thuli, Khosi is a disrespectful bitch and she doesn’t respect you or your relationship with Tee-le. Where the hell does she get off saying shit like that to Tee-le in front of you?” I say. I am actually shocked at what Thuli is telling us on this conference call. 

“I’m still stuck on the part where she couldn’t even acknowledge you. How does she have a conversation with herself, talking at your man then not even say hi to you? I have reached a whole new level of respect for Tee-le for not even giving that bitch airtime”, Paula says. 

“I actually don’t even know what to make out of Khosi’s behaviour yaz. She looked so broken. For a minute there, I did feel sorry for her. She looked so sad and in great need of someone to talk to. But when she said she and Tee-le can still be friends and still do drinks together, I realised that girl doesn’t deserve my sympathy. She will never change and she has just made this entire fight extremely personal. Coming straight for my man? That’s personal”, Thuli says. 

“Be done with that ho. You don’t owe her anything. Just move on. How did Tee-le react to the big news?” I ask. I have been dying to hear this story. 

“Big news?” Paula asks. 

“We gonna be aunties and Tee-le is about to be a daddy”, I say. 

Paula and I scream then laugh. I hear Thuli laughing too. 

“He is a very happy man. I am feeling quite nervous about the pregnancy, but his positivity about it is slightly starting to rub off onto me. We haven’t told our families yet and we really want to wait until I am passed the three-month mark so please ladies, please don’t say anything to anyone.” Thuli says.

“Don’t worry, babe. We understand the sensitivity of this and we are here for you. I’m just officially assigning myself as the events manager for your baby launch. It will be for both you and Tee-le”, I say. 

All three of us laugh. 

“Okay ladies, I need to go now. Have a good night”, Thuli says. 

We all hang up and I find Shack playing X-Box with Lethu. Zolani is feasting on his fist next to them, in a car-seat. 

“Lethu needs to go to sleep!” I announce. 

“Mommy, I am about to beat daddy”, he says. 

“Lethu needs to go to sleep!” I announce again. 

“Mommy please. We are almost finished.” Lethu negotiates. 

“I hope I will not need to repeat myself”, I say. 

They ignore me and go about their game.

So, I do the one thing that will make Lethu go to bed, sulking or not. I pull the plug out of the plug socket and the TV and X-box go off. 

Shack looks at me as if wanting to negotiate for Lethu, but I give him the rakgadi-ha-ah-don’t-you-dare look. He looks at Lethu and says, “Let’s get you in bed, my boy”. 

Lethu sulks and cries, but Shack wins the battle and finds me breast-feeding Zolani when he gets back downstairs. 

We kiss then he sits next to me. 

“How’s training?” I ask him. 

“It was intense. It is nice to be playing with everyone. I mean, we have rivals all over at a club level. But when we come together to play for one team, man we are explosive.” He says. He seems so happy. 

“That’s good, baby”, I say. 

“We are going to training camp in Spain next week”, he says. 

“How long will you be gone?” I ask.

“Two months”, he says.

“Wow”, me. 

“Yeah. The team and the staff are all going. You going to be okay?” Him.

“Do I have a choice?” Me. 

“What do you mean?” Him.

“Shack, you are never home. I understood this when I married you and your career took off. But I didn’t want another child. I had postpartum with Lethu and you know how scared I was to have another child. You insisted on another child and you promised you’d be here to support me. I’ve been alone with Zolani. I struggled with him too. But you don’t know that. You haven’t been around to see it. Thank God for our nanny who has been there and being supportive. I just feel alone.” I tell him. 

He is taken aback with this. I just feed my son and not look at him. 

“Do you want me to retire, Nay?” Shack says.

I kinda do, but you can’t tell someone to quit the one thing that they love – just for you. That decision can only be made by him. 

“Reneiloe?” Shack.

“I just want you home. I want you more involved.” I say. 

I put Zolani over my shoulder and rub his back until he burps. 

“The thing is, Renay”, he begins, “I got an offer to join a team in the UK. I’m on my way to the premier league, baby.” 

I honestly have no words. I just look at him. 

“We could all move, baby. You, myself and our kids. We can go there together. You will meet new friends and your business will reach a whole new market. Baby, if I am going to bow out of this game, I need to do so with all my stripes”, he says.

“Shack, are you asking me or are you telling me?” I ask him. 

“Renay, the reason why you and I have always been okay and why we always made it through anything and everything is because we supported each other and we believed in each other. We have never put boundaries or red tape around the lengths we would go for each other. We packed up our lives and would move for any and every opportunity. I’m asking you to do this for me one more time. Please be my Nay: my beautiful and supportive wife. Let’s go to the UK, let’s be us and I’ll retire in style.” He says. 

Honestly, what can I say? 

A text message comes through my phone. It is the WAGS WhatsApp group. Kate has just posted that Bethlehem girl’s daughter has been kidnapped. She was last seen wearing a red Adidas tracksuit and has an afro. If anyone knows anything, please inform Bethlehem girl or the police.

…

“Good morning, my baby mama.” 

I jump out of bed and sprint to the in-suit restroom. I throw up a lot. What the hell was on that plate? The smell was off.

“Are you okay?” He asks me as I walk back into the bedroom. 

“I think those eggs are off”. I tell him. He still has the plate in front of him and it still smells badly. 

“There’s nothing wrong with the eggs, babe.” 

“Then your child is torturing me so early in the pregnancy? I am clearly about to suffer.” 

He smiles at me. 

“I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for me to go to Spain and leave you here all alone.”

“I am a bit nervous about staying alone.” 

“Do you want me to stay? Because I can quit the team.” 

“No, don’t do that. I will adjust. I will be okay. I will probably go back home and be with my mom for a bit.” 

“But you’ll want to work when you are there. I’d prefer it if you just relaxed.” 

“So, you want me to just sit here and wait for Khosi to show up, looking for you and wanting to take you out for drinks?” 

I don’t like the look on his face. 

“Please get those eggs out of here. I am really struggling and they are just making me cranky.” I say. 

He takes the tray and leaves the bedroom. 

I make the bed, get into the shower and quickly get myself cleaned up. I lotion myself and dress up when I am done. He is still not back in the bedroom. I hear voices downstairs and I make my way there now that I am dressed up in my short dress and slippers. 

Oh hell no! What does she wants?! I stand at the beginning of the staircase and stare at both of them. 

“Baby – 

“Why is she here?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“How did she get in?”

“My fingerprints still work at the gate, babe.” She says. 

“I’m not talking to you, Khosi. I am talking to my boyfriend!” 

She looks at me in disbelief. 

“Remoletile, why haven’t you deactivated her access?” 

“It completely slipped my mind, babe.” 

I shake my head and make my way back upstairs.

I start packing my bags in absolute anger. I am not going through this again. I refuse! 

I hear the door close. A few seconds later, I feel his hand on my hands, stopping me from packing. 

“Baby –

“I am not going through this again, Remoletile. I refuse!”

“It genuinely slipped my mind, Thuli.” 

“How?! You want me to stay in your house, as pregnant as I am, while that crazy woman has access to come and go as she pleases. You want her to just walk in here while we are asleep in the middle of the night to disrespect me and try to get you back. Lalela! I have done this for way too long. I am not doing this again. Never!” 

“Thuli, please. I need you to calm down. We need to talk about this calmly and – 

I almost faint with the pain that overcomes me. I scream! He has his arms around me instantly. 

I breathe. I close my eyes and listen to this pain. He puts me on one of the couches in our bedroom. 

“Are you alright?” 

I just cry. What if I am losing this baby? 

“Let me get my phone and wallet. We are going to the doctor.” 

…

“I’m going to admit you and keep you here for observations overnight.” The doctor says. 

I nod my head. 

“You need to rest. The baby is fine, but we have run some more tests just to be sure. I will let you know when the results are back. For now, I need you to please get some rest.” 

“Can I stay with her over night?” Tee-le enquires. 

“I don’t think it’s necessary.” The doctor says. 

He is so frightened. 

I hold his hand and say, “We are fine. We are going to be okay. You need to get some rest as well.” 

He looks at me, sad. 

“I’ll give you a minute.” The doctor. 

She leaves. 

“I don’t want to lose this baby.” I admit. 

“I don’t want us to lose this baby.” He says. 

“I’m scared.” 

“Of what?” 

“Tee-le –

“You have to let Yaya go.” 

“I have let him go. I love you.” 

“You cannot make me pay for his mistakes.” 

“Then you need to stop repeating them. Tee-le, look at where I am. We could have lost this child. Khosi has been stalking us since she heard that you and I are together. You don’t think that’s something that should have reminded you that you need to limit this woman’s access to a house that we live in and are now about to bring a child into? I don’t feel safe and you keep telling me that house is our home.”

He is quiet. 

I breathe. 

“Are we moving too fast, Tee-le?” 

He cannot believe that I just asked him that. 

“I know what I want. I want you. I love you. So no, we are not moving too fast.”

I nod my head. 

He holds my hand and says, “I’ll fix this. I promise. I love you and our baby. I will make sure that the two of you are protected, no matter what.” 

My phone rings. It’s in his pocket. Paula is calling. Tee-le answers the call. For what, I also don’t know. 

“Hey, Paula.” 

…

“We just need some space today. She will join you guys next time.” 

…

“I’ll let her know.”

…

“Shup.” 

He hangs up. 

“They were inviting you to lunch.” 

Honestly, I do need space. I just throw my head on the pillow and close my eyes. 

 …

Dear reader 

I hope you have your wine or tea or whatever you drink when you are about to be served the finest tea. I have tea to spill and because I am no longer a WAG and those bitches thought they could exile me, I will be sharing this on my social media too. 

My sister, Mandisa Tloung, invited me to have lunch with the Tloungs at Dikwe’s mansion in Taung. I knew that Dikwe would be there with all three of his wives and KB would arrive with his one wife. It was made clear that this is a family lunch and it was to welcome a new bride into the Tloung family. Law and behold, dear reader, the new bride is Leruo’s second wife to be. Lord, have mercy! I would have never! 

Yes, Paula was there and no, she was not as welcoming of the new bride as Dikwe’s wives were of my sister. 

Dikwe could not stop talking about how proud Leruo had made him. Hell, he was even given a position in the family business. His father labelled his actions as a sign of maturity. Paula played with her food the whole time. She could not even force a smile from her face. The Tloung wives went on and on about the common thing between Paula and Nomzamo is their love for Leruo and their intention to extend the Tloung bloodline. Paula heard none of it. She was in tears the entire time while Nomzamo was wrapped in Leruo’s arms, happily in love with the father or her son. Yes, son! An entire four-year-old human being! Miss Paula Perfect’s marriage is clearly not as perfect as we thought it to be.

…

The knock on my door is so violent and it is so early in the morning. I came back from Dikwe’s place at 2am. Who is so rude to be banging on my door at 5am? 

I roll out of my king-sized bed and wear my silk gown. I walk barefooted to the TV room to get the door. Security didn’t even buzz me to tell me that someone was making their way to my door. It must be someone who frequents here. As I open the door, a fist slams across my face and lands me on my tile. 

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! THIS IS MY LIFE!” Paula is standing in front of me, losing her mind. 

“Do you want to go to jail, wena Paula? This is trespassing and assault.” Me, still trying to get up from the floor. 

“You have taken my private life and blasted it all over social media. Khosi, what kind of an animal are you? I have kids who need to wake up this morning, go to school and deal with this shit. Some privacy would have gone a long way, Khosi”, she ways. 

“You are married to Leruo Tloung. What’s privacy?” Me. 

“Khosi… I’m so glad Tee-le moved on from your desperate, ratchet and infertile ass”, she says. 

This hurts me, I cannot lie. How could she? 

“You are nothing, but a nyupa that lives to destroy people’s lives. Now that you prostitute yourself out for money with Tyson, take that money and go invest in your fertility. Maybe having a baby will make you less heartless. Your friend, Thuli, just opened her legs and got pregnant. What’s wrong with you?” Paula. 

I cannot stop the tears from falling down my face. Paula leaves my house. I sit on the floor and cry on the tiles. 

…

“Another wife? And a love child? Yoh Paula. Are you okay?” I ask her. Paula, Lando, Thuli and I are all at Thuli’s and Tee-le’s house to talk about Khosi’s social media bomb. I don’t know where Carmen is.

“I was still dealing with it. I wasn’t ready to come out with this. I was going to do it in my own time. Khosi had no right to do this”, Paula keeps saying. 

“Babe, your husband is getting remarried. Khosi is a bitch for broadcasting it, but she is not your problem right now. How are you going to deal with your new sister-wife?” Thuli enquires.

“I honestly don’t know. She doesn’t seem like a bad person or a gold digger, shame. She’s actually a surgeon. Our boys get along like they’ve known each other for years. And Dikwe and Leruo are in a good place again. Clearly, this is bringing good things for us. It’s just not easy sharing a penis and knowing that you share it.” Paula says. 

Tee-le comes running down the stairs and freezes when he sees us. I guess he didn’t know that we were here. 

“Ladies”, he greets us. 

“Hey Tee-le”, we all say. 

He kisses Thuli. He seems to be on his way out. 

“Any news on Bethlehem girl’s daughter?” Thuli enquires. 

That poor girl is still missing. Tee-le wraps his arms around Thuli, shakes his head and says, “Nothing. She’s not doing well. The baby daddy is around as well and he keeps blaming Tshepi for being a bad and negligent mother”, Tee-le explains. 

“Who’s Tshepi?” Lando asks. 

Tee-le chuckles. 

“Bethlehem girl”, Thuli says. 

“Oh”, Lando. 

“Pauls… you good?” Tee-le asks Paula. 

“Ke tla reng? It is what it is”, Paula says. 

Tee-le nods his head. 

He looks at Thuli and says, “Baby, I’m going out to my meeting. I’ll come pick you up so we can make our way to Sebokeng, okay?” 

“Okay babe. Mama is expecting us before the sun sets”, Thuli says. 

“We will not make it before sunset. But I’ll deal with her, love, don’t worry.” Tee-le says, kisses Thuli then leaves again. 

I notice Paula getting emotional. I distract her a bit. 

“What’s happening in Sebokeng?” I ask Thuli. 

“We just visiting Tee-le’s family for the weekend.” Thuli says. 

“That’s sweet. No wonder Tee-le is so obsessed with you. Who just visits mamazala just nje?” Lando says. 

“Family is the worst. They will help Tee-le cheat, cover it up for him then tell you to bekezelaand remain a good wife to him. Be the most careful of them.” Paula says. 

We all look at her. 

She takes one look at us and she falls apart. She literally wails on the couch. We all walk up to her couch, find a place to sit and try comfort her. We are an epic scene out of ‘Why Did I Get Married?’. Paula is broken. 

…

I drugged Tshepi so that she would fall asleep. All she does is cry and fight with Phatsi’s dad. Yaya ended up telling him to leave. Tshepi’s mom is here as well. The mood in the house already feels as if Phatsima has passed away. 

I cook some dinner while the house is asleep. When I am done, I sit in the TV room and just bask in being alone. There is a knock on the door then whoever is there lets themselves in. It is Yaya, Dikwe and the police. This is not good. 

“How is she?” Yaya asks me. 

I shrug my shoulders. 

“Please get her “, Dikwe says. 

Indeed, I run upstairs and wake her up. The minute she hears that the police are downstairs, she pushes me out the way and makes her way to where they all are. I follow her. The policemen take off their hats. 

This is not good. 

Yaya hugs her. 

This is not good. I repeat, this is not good. 

“Miss Sedibe, we found a body of a young girl that matches the description that you gave us of your daughter. The little girl was raped then murdered. Multiple samples of semen were found on her – 

Tshepi is already screaming. She is wailing and throws herself on the floor. Yaya tries to calm her down, but Tshepi is not responsive to Yaya’s attempts. She is absolutely inconsolable.

After thirty minutes of Tshepi crying, the police ask her to go with them to identify the body. She leaves with the police, Yaya and Dikwe. 

…

My baby. My beautiful baby girl. She now lies on some cold and long steel and she has become another body with a tag hanging from her big toe as a form of identification. Who did this? Who would do something like this? For what? She is a child. 

“NOOOOOO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOO! NOT MY CHILD!” I hear her father come in and scream. I am crying too. I am just as distraught as Phathudi is. 

“YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER COME TO THIS PLACE! SHE WAS SAFE IN BETHLEHEM! YOU CAME HERE AND YOU SOLD YOURSELF TO BOFEBE AND OUR DAUGHTER LOST HER LIFE! WAS IT WORTH IT, RETSHEPILE?! WAS IT WORTH IT?!” He yells at me. 

I would fight back, but I do blame myself too. Our lives were so simple in Bethlehem. Why did I have to come here? Now, I will be burying my daughter.

I turn around and make my way back to Yaya’s car so that he can take me home. I cried the entire way there. 

I get home and my mom wastes no time. I enter my period of mourning. I dress up in my black clothes and doek. I am told to sit on the mattress. I oblige. 

I know Phathudi is useless and will be complaining about money the whole time, so I start making calls to arrange for my baby girl’s funeral. I organise for her death certificate to be organized as well. 

Later in the evening, a group of women walk into the room. It is the WAGS, the mean ones that were cheering for Thuli. Thuli is also amongst them. Thuli sits next to me on the mattress and holds my hand. Somehow, I feel comforted. She starts singing a hymn. She has a beautiful voice that fills not only the room, but the house too. It is so heavenly. People join in and sing with her. I wish they would stop because they don’t sound as she does. She sounds as if angel voices are accompanying the melody of her voice box to my daughter’s spirit in heaven. It is powerful. She makes me cry all over again. Is this really the woman that I drove out of Yaya’s life? I see now why Yaya and I never lasted. No one will ever match up to this. 

After the singing, my mom enters the room with a priest and the night prayer begins. The priest thereafter leaves some words of comfort then people start to leave. 

I hear Tee-le and Thuli talking about driving down to Sebokeng then Thuli says goodbye to everyone and they leave. 

People disappear into the house, chit-chatting. Phathudi comes into the bedroom where I am now alone. He sits on a chair. 

“Please give me her death certificate. I have a few policies that I took out for her. The money should help with putting her to rest”, Phathudi says. 

I nod my head in agreement with what he is saying. 

“Do you mind if I stay here until we have to leave for Bethlehem? Then I can help with whatever is needed?” He says.

“Sure. I actually haven’t thought about where we will put her to rest”, I say. 

“What’s there to think about? Bethlehem was her home. Her life was most lived and celebrated there. This place just killed her. Why would you want to bury her here?” He says, judging me. 

I just remain quiet. 

“I’ll arrange for the undertaker to take her body to Bethlehem for her burial. Are we in agreement?” Phathudi. 

“Phathudi, regardless of how things ended between us, we will need to get along for this week and make sure that our daughter is buried with dignity. I just ask that we support each other and limit the fighting, please.” I say. 

He nods his head then leaves the room.