Lydia

Working from home is tiring, stressful and without boundaries. My day starts at 7am and ends when the work is done. I did not have an issue with this when I was going into the office. But now, I feel as if there is no difference between my home and my workplace. I just sleep in my bedroom. Every other place in my apartment is an office space. 

My domestic worker has temporarily moved in with me while we are on level 5. I have turned her into my PA as well. I taught her how to file my work and keep my desk and study a place for me to work in and be productive. She does not mind. She cleans and attends to my admin for me. I let her use my other laptop where I train her on how to keep my admin up to date. She loves that more than she likes cleaning. But I am very clear that her priority is cleaning. 

I haven’t seen Tom in over two weeks. We chat from time to time, but he doesn’t come over and I am not able to meet up with him at any hotels. Level 5 lockdown has us seriously locked down in our houses. In our team, two people have passed away from the Covid-19 virus. We had a virtual memorial service for them then only their family could attend their funeral. Things are quite sombre in the team, but we move. 

Palesa has me working with Jeff on the talent intelligence project for our team – I am the talent intelligence partner for our operations team. It is a nice challenge. I like it. With this project, we have to assess the team’s strengths, weaknesses and gaps against the operations currency in the market. This decision has to influence the next batch of talent that we will be recruiting into the team to drive it towards the required goals for the organisation. Covid-19 has thrown an interesting spanner in the project goals because it is teaching us the new meaning of work. With the hint of an implementation of the s189 of the LRA within the company, our project may influence which roles have become redundant and thus no longer have a place in our company. 

Jeff and I are on a Microsoft Teams meeting with Palesa, Pearl and Mthunzi Msomi. Blake is supposed to be in this meeting as well, but he has Covid-19and is currently in ICU. 

I present the PowerPoint deck that Jeff and I put together then open the floor for questions. Pearl asks nonsensical questions, Mthunzi asks constructive questions and Palesa asks no questions at all. Mthunzi asks that we share the PowerPoint deck with him as he will be sharing it with all executive leads as a template for them to perform the talent intelligence exercise in their teams. 
“These will be dived into deeper at the next executive meeting with Tom. I like this a lot.” Mthunzi keeps saying. 
“I agree. We can do a lot with this. Palesa will champion it and will thus be in the meeting with us when we meet with Tom”, Pearl says. 
“As long as she can explain it and talk us through it the way that Miss Khalo has, I really don’t care. I just want it done”, Mthunzi says. 
“She will. We pay her a lot of money to do anything that Lydia does ten times better. It’s time that people earned their salaries around here for a change”, Pearl. 
“Hai Hai, Pearl! We don’t do that here and we certainly don’t use that kind of language on such platforms. Please restrain yourself”, Mthunzi. 

It is incredible what lengths an insecure woman will go through out of spite. 
…
Today is Friday. It is supposed to mean something to me, but honestly, I am so exhausted and I feel extremely overworked. Surely, this is exploitation. I have a few meetings then I am going to nap for the rest of the day. I am not feeling well. 

“Lydia, I think you are pregnant”, my domestic worker says. 
I am slightly taken aback. I do not outright deny it, but rather playback the basics in my mind, like when was the last time I had my period. I actually haven’t had my period in two months. 

I cannot even tell Tom. I need to be sure first then I need to make a decision on what I want to do. Pearl will kill me if I give Tom the one thing he wants more than anything in the world and she hasn’t given it to him – refuses to give it to him actually. It was fair game when we were both just having sex with him. It was the battle of sexual skills there. But a baby? 

My head suddenly feels light. 
“I will go to Dischem and get you a home pregnancy test.” She says.
I nod my head in disbelief. 
As she walks out of the study, my phone rings. It is Tom. I don’t even know what to say to him. I already know that he will force me to keep this child and promise me that we will work this out. 
The phone stops ringing. He calls again. I switch off my phone. 
He texts me on Microsoft Teams. 
“What’s going on?” 
I don’t reply.
“?????” Him. 
I don’t reply. 

The day goes by and 7pm strikes. I shutdown my laptop then make my way to my bedroom. I stare at the pregnancy test before me. I am not ready to take it. What am I supposed to do if the test comes back positive? I rub my tummy as I think about this. It would be a beautiful baby. A combination of Tom and I? The eyes of the world would be blessed indeed to see such a beautiful creation. 

I suddenly feel a presence in the room with me. I am not alone. I smell his scent. I close my eyes and a tear sprints down my face. I look at him. 
He sits next to me. He holds my hand.
“Did you take the test?” He asks me. 
I shake my head. 
“Are you going to?” Him. 
“I guess I have to so that I can make a decision on what to do next”, I say. 
“Would you abort it?” He asks me. 
“Thomas, do you want me to die? You know very well that Pearl would murder me. A baby, Thomas?” Me. I am actually terrified and he can see it. 
“Don’t abort the baby. Please, Lydia. Don’t abort this child. We will make it work”. He says. 
“How? You and Pearl will take the baby from me and raise it together? I’m not your surrogate. Pearl would never allow me and you to co-parent. You know that”, I tell him. 
He is quiet. He takes a deep breath. 
I lie down on the bed. He lies next to me. 
“I want you to divorce her”, I say. 
I feel him thinking that I am crazy. It is as if he is wondering who do I think I am. 
“That’s the only way that this is going to work. You have to divorce her or else I don’t keep the baby”, I say. 
He is dead quiet. 

I get up from the bed and make my way to my toilet, taking the test with me. I am already making demands and I don’t even know if I am pregnant yet. I pee on the stick. He stands at the door and watches me. I wait for a response from the stick as I get dressed and flush the toilet. 

The stick tells me that I am 6+ weeks pregnant. I give it to him. He reads it. He takes it with him and leaves my apartment. 

What the hell? 

…

It has been two weeks now and I have heard nothing from Tom since he left my house with my positive pregnancy test. I did not phone him neither because honestly, what am I supposed to say? 
I took the day off today and made my way to a doctor. She did a scan on me and indeed, I am pregnant. I am now twelve weeks pregnant. When I saw my baby on that sonar scan machine, something happened to me. I fell in love. I am going to be a mother and I am actually happy about it. 

On my way back home, I phone my father and tell him the big news. He tellsme to come home so that I can have his and my mother’s support throughout this process. It is difficult to determine whether or not he is angry; he just sounds neutral over the phone. 

I get to my place and pack a few things. I lock up my apartment, take my domestic worker home, then make my way to Bassonia, my parents’ home.

My mom is excited to be a grandmother. She received the news better than expected. My dad is okay, but he does want to know who the father of the child is. 

“Thomas Ramaru”, I say. 

My parents look at each other in disbelief. 

“What do you mean that Thomas Ramaru impregnated you? What were you doing when the pregnancy came about?” 

Really dad? 

“So what is your plan? He is a married man. Is he going to divorce Pearl Ramaru?” My mom. 

“How Phali? When has that ever happened? Lydia is his mistress. When has the other woman ever received the happily ever after?” My dad says to my mother. 

“Well, there must be a plan, Terrence. I want to know what that plan is. Are we helping Lydia raise our grandchild without Thomas or what?”

“Thomas Ramaru will know my fists today!” 

Why is my dad so upset? 

I sit my parents down and explain to them my relationship with Tom. My mom is in disbelief and my father is pissed off. He leaves the house with my mom in great fury. 

It is about 9pm when my parents return home and I am napping on the couch. My mom wakes me up and I see my parents and Tom standing in front of me. Thomas looks like he has been beaten up badly.
“What’s going on?” I ask. 

“Thomas needs to pay damages for what he has done to you. He impregnated you and he is not married to you”, my father begins. 

“But dad, would you be this upset if it were someone else and not Thomas? It’s not like he raped me.” I say. 

“Lydia, this is my peer. He is old enough to be your father. How could you have a relationship with him?” My mom enquires.

“It wasn’t a relationship”. Thomas says.

“What? Tom!” I am so heartbroken. 

“I’m a married man, Miss Khalo. What happened between you and I was a one-time mistake. I will accept that I may have impregnated you, but I cannot admit to anything more than that”, Tom says. 

“A one-time mistake? And you may have impregnated me? Thomas! Are you really doing this?” Me. I am so shocked.

He is so cold. 
He just looks at me. 

I pull out my cellphone and go to our text messages. I show them to my parents. Clearly, I need to show evidence. My parents read the text messages and look at Tom. My dad dials the number I have saved under his name and his cellphone rings. Tom doesn’t blink. 

My dad punches him. A full bar fight takes place in my parents’ TV room and Tom does not fight back. He takes the punches then leaves the house covered in blood. I cry.