The game drive, the squash fitness sessions in the mornings, swimming afternoons and lots of diet-compliant food for Leruo; that’s how we holiday. Dololo spa days I tell you. Now, we are packing the car and getting ready to head back home. These holidays are mostly for Leruo and Fenya. When  I want chill-out time, it has to be a girls’ trip or a solo vacation. Our weeklong holiday has come to an end and I had fun with my boys. We all slept in different rooms, as we always do. Leruo and I are great parents and close friends. The sexual chemistry is still there, but the lines must be thick and adhered to. 

I met Leruo in Italy. His team was there for a friendly game against an Italian Football Club that’s in the La Leagua. I was there with some colleagues for research that we were doing. I knew who he was. Who doesn’t know Leruo Tloung? When he laid his eyes on me, he felt the same level of lust that I clearly felt for him that night. We were dining at the same restaurant; him with his team members and me with my colleagues. We had a lot of smiles and eye messages between us, he followed me to the restroom and we exchanged numbers. 

Later that evening, he came to my hotel room and today we have a four-year-old son together. My life naturally changed. I drive six hours instead of fly two hours because people know who Leruo is. How will they explain who Fenya and I are? Everyone close to us has to sign an NDA because we have to take care of Fenya and protect him from the backlash that he and I would get from the public. 

Then there is the issue of his wife, Paula Tloung. I know she knows nothing about us and it does hurt me a bit. So, I protect myself by not allowing an affair to transpire between us. Then I am consoled that Fenya has and gets everything that Paula’s kids have. Leruo’s family have acknowledged my son, paid for damages and Fenya took on their surname. The Tloung family named him Fenya. My name for my son is Senzangakhona, Senzi for short. I like to call him Senzi. But everyone else calls him Fenya. 

“Zamo”, Leruo startles me. I just finished showering. My bag is the only one left to be loaded in the car. I am wrapped in a towel and I am toning my face. My legs are his weakness. I just know. 

“I’m almost done”, I say to him. 

He closes the door of my room. I take a deep breath. I know. I just know.

“What’s going on, Leruo?” I ask him, lotioning my face now. 

“You are so beautiful”, he says. 

Leruo has a type. There are interesting similarities between Paula and I that spell that type out for you. 

We are both extremely light skinned. Our bodies are proper fit. Cute ass, flat tummy, thin waist and big calves. Paula is just bigger than me now after three kids. I am slim thick. She is just thick. I have short hair and I love my braids. Paula is a weave girl. I am into my career and Paula’s career is Leruo. 

“You promised me a second child.” He whispers as he brushes my bare shoulders. 

“We were drunk and we made a lot of promises to each other. I am not holding you accountable to the promises that you made me, am I?” Me. 

Now, he is horny. 

Good thing I steamed my Lady V last night. 

“Zamo, I haven’t touched you in four years. You make it seem like you and I hate each other. We don’t. We share a beautiful son together and we enjoyed every minute of conceiving him.” He isn’t lying. That night is a night I’ll live to remember for the rest of my life. But it doesn’t mean that I get to be his weekend special. 

I stand up. I drop my towel. His mouth becomes dry and his eyes become smaller. 

“L, I’m not going to be your mistress. I’d give anything to share one more night with you. But we both know that I’m the one who has got everything to lose. I am the one who is your hidden secret that the world should never find out about. I’m the one who will be left with egg on my face the minute that Paula finds out about Fenya and I. My world is bound to crumble down and we both know that you will never defend me or choose Fenya and I over Paula and her kids. So, I cannot be made available to you like that”, I say. 

He holds my waist and steps closer to me. He starts nibbling on my neck. 

“Would you let me make you my second wife?” He asks me. 

But he is kissing me. He is caressing me. He is unleashing my hormones and he is making my lady V wet. I can’t say yes. I can’t say no. Do I really want to be in a polygamous marriage? 

He has me on my back now, lying on the bed. He kisses my inner thighs like he did that night we conceived our son. 

“We don’t have much time. Where’s Senzi?” Me. 

He doesn’t answer me, but his pants and shirt are off. He looks me in the eye. His penis is at the entrance of my lady V. 

“Would you be my second wife, Nomzamo Mlangeni?” He says. 

“I – 

He inserts his penis inside of me. He thought he would make me moan, but it is him who cannot believe what he is experiencing. Lady V steamed last night. Even though he is not worthy of the benefits, I love the way that he is worshipping me right now. If this was meant to be a quickie, it will not be quick. I turn him to the bed. I ride him. He is moaning as if he has never been served cake like this before. He is holding onto my thighs, bruising them actually and I was planning on wearing a short dress today. 

I hear him let out like an animal and I know my job here is done.

I get up and go clean myself up. I finish off lotioning myself and I wear a dress that is just above my knee. I use a wet cloth to rub against my hair so my short hair looks rusty but neat – a cute look really. I wear flip flops and get out of the bathroom. Leruo is sitting on my bed. 

“What’s wrong?” I ask him. 

“I want another round”, he says. 

I laugh at him as I finish up packing. 

“We need to go, come on.” I say. 

“I’m serious though, think about becoming my second wife. I want more from you. I want more of what we just had.” He says. 

“I’ll think about it. “.

…

“Hi. I am looking for Thuli. They told me that I’d find her here”, I hear a familiar voice say this in the kitchen. 

“Hai cha, uThuli is really bringing in these celebrities la endlini”, typical Lindani says. 

“So? Is she here?” The voice. 

“Thulisile!” Lindani calls me. 

I walk into the kitchen and there she is, Renay Twala. 

“Renay Twala? Now this is one surprise I would have never anticipated”. I say. 

“Hawu Thuli, don’t be like that. It’s not like you and I were enemies”. She says.

“It’s not like we were friends neither”. I remind her.

“But I have always liked you. I am sure that counts for something”. She says. 

I chuckle. 

“Congratulations on the birth of your baby by the way. I am sure Shack is excited to be a father again”. I say. 

“Ngiyabonga.” She says, smiling. 

“Please come in and have a seat”. 

She happily comes in and sits on the closest chair she finds. I sit opposite her. Lindani sits at the table with us. I think Lindani is gay, but is in the closet. He is so invested in people’s business, especially women’s business. Renay looks at him then looks at me. I shrug my shoulders. 

“So, what brings you hear?” I ask her. 

“I am going to be frank with you. You don’t know me to be any other way anyway. UTee-le is in bad shape and I know how close the two of you have become. I think Tee-le needs you to give him a fighting chance to come back. The team is falling apart and this is definitely the last straw.” She says. 

“Hawu, he has Khosi nje”, Lindani ‘Mfakazeli’ inserts himself in this conversation. 

“Hai, I don’t want to hear about that girl onesichitho. Every man that gets with that girl ends up injured somehow. And it is no secret that she does not stay around once the sky seems grey. We all remember how she did Sizwe, and I seriously do not believe that Tee-le will survive it. It has been his biggest fear since he started dating Nobukhosi”. Renay tells us. 

“Why would you assume that I am the answer to this problem? Tee-le and I are not in a relationship”. I tell her. 

“Stop treating me like a child, Thulisile. Tee-le and Uyanda fought in the dressing room because of you. They lost a game because of you. You and Tee-le may not be in a relationship, but whatever is going on between the two of you is clearly worth fighting for”, she says. 

Lindani and I look at each other. 

“Well, I am worried about him. I just thought staying away would be best. Plus, I don’t think I am ready to set foot back in Tholoana Kingdom”. I say. 

“You will stay with Shack and me. Right now, we all have to do what is best for Tee-le. The important WAGs are team Thuli and we have no problem helping you kick Khosi out of our circle. Nobody likes that bitch anyway and none of these men are going to date leso sichithoever again.” she says. 

I am silent. 

“Thuli, sorry for how we treated you when you and Yaya broke up. You didn’t deserve that and I really am sorry.” Renay. 

“Uyanda could have an issue with me being there for Tee-le”, I tell her. 

“Uyanda has Bethlehem girl. You are all Tee-le has. Ngiyakucela Thuli, please come back to Tholoana Kingdom with me. You will stay with Shack and I at our place until Tee-le is awake and is back home”. 

“That could be a really long time”, I say. 

“We don’t mind. I know you were holding the business fort down la kini, but thank God for the world of digital because you can run a business from just about anywhere. Plus, your brother will hold it down in person as well”. Renay. 

I nod my head. 

“You can go, sis. Mom and I will handle things this side. We did run shit without you for years anyway. Nothing will fall apart while you are away for a few weeks.” Lindani. 

“You are so unnecessary. What’s your problem?” Renay comes to my defence. Lindani is irritated. I go pack my bags.

…

I have never seen my sister this low in spirit. Khosi has always been the prettier and more popular sister out of the two of us. She was my mother’s favourite child and the girl everyone wanted to be friends with in my neighbourhood and in the school that we attended. I have never seen a human being in her. I have always seen a total bitch who is very easy to hate. Today, she is in my kitchen. She is sad and frustrated that the man she loves is in hospital and she has been denied all access to him. She is helpless because for once in her life, there is absolutely nothing that she can do about the situation. 

I have made her some breakfast to try to have her eat to get some strength. 

“Khosi, here’s some food, sisi. Please eat”, I say as I give her sorghum porridge with some Nespray and sugar. She smiles. My grandmother used to make us this porridge and it could wipe away every tear, every illness and every moment of sadness. I am the only one in the family who could make it just the way our granny used to make it. 

“Eat up phela”, I say. We giggle and dig in. 

“Yaz, I don’t believe Tee-le’s family. I have done nothing to them for them to treat me this way”. She says. 

“Do you think Tee-le loves you?” I must ask as a concerned sister. 

“Of course, he loves me. Why would you even ask me that?” She says, very defensive.

“Don’t take my question the wrong way. I am just wondering why he would tell his family that you are not the one”. Me. 

“He didn’t tell them that nonsense. His mother is just trying to hurt my feelings. Tee-le loves me. He wants to have children with me”. She says. 

“But he didn’t want to marry you. You told me this yourself”. I say. 

“He loves me, Mandisa”. She says. 

I remain silent and we eat our porridge. 

Dikwe comes into the kitchen and kisses me good morning. 

“How are you, my love? You are looking as beautiful as always”. He says to me. 

“Thank you, love. Did you sleep well?” I ask him as I stand up to dish up some porridge for him. I also start making him a full English breakfast. This is my hubby and he is definitely the best that I have ever had. 

“I slept well, my love. You served me very well last night in bed”, he says. I blush. Khosi giggles. 

“But I am worried about Remoletile. He is not looking good. The team is also acting up and I need to finalise the transfers with Kebatile, Mfundo, Mthunzi, Thomas and Mzwakhe by the end of today.” He says. Kebatile is his brother, KB. 

He looks at Khosi and asks her how she is doing. They briefly chat about Khosi’s emotions and frustrations. He is so attentive and empathetic. I love him for these kinds of things. He starts eating and the three of us engage on what has happened to Tee-le. When he is done, he stands up and I fix his outfit. Then he says, “You know Khosi, I must ask you to stay away. I know that you love him and I don’t hold your history with Sizwe against you. But I need you out of the spotlight for this one.”

Khosi is hurt that she does not have Dikwe’s support and backing on this one.  I am just praying that he does not make mention of the fact that before this accident, he fought with Uyanda about his recent interactions with Thuli… interactions that I am sure Khosi knows nothing about. 

“Sthandwa sami, I will be back over the weekend. I will be with Neo for the next few days.” He says as he kisses me. 

“Ok my love, I love you. All the best for your day ahead”. I say. 

“Are you going to be okay with Pheelo?” 

“Yeah, I have the girls and Khosi here with me. I just feel bad for Pheelo to be surrounded by so many women”. 

He laughs aloud. 

“I love you, my wife. Thank you for being such a blessing in my life”. He says. 

We kiss. 

He leaves. 

“Ngeke Mandi! Sharing my man?! Oh, hell no!” Khosi says. 

“Well, I love who he is to me, with me, and how he treats me. I have a happier relationship and marriage with my polygamous husband than most women do with their monogamous partners”. I say. 

She is hurt. I was just saying.  

…

So, you know your girl had to do society a favour by bringing Thuli back into the league and kick that hood rat, Khosi, out. As a self-appointed chairperson of civil order, I fetched the one woman who can help us get rid of Nobukhosi Kunene permanently. Tee-le’s family has already done half the job for me by making sure that Khosi stays far away from Tee-le. Now, I will bring Thuli closer to Tee-le. No man in his right mind would ever choose Khosi over Thuli. I know a man in love when I see one. Remoletile Serame is in love with Thulisile Mabote. Shack confirmed this by telling me that Tee-le’s crush on Thuli has been brewing for years. 

I am enjoying having Thuli in my house. She is very good with my kids and she is a very well-mannered young lady. Zolani is very calm around her and Zolani is the wild child. This morning, I woke her up and asked her to go for a run with me. I am recovering from giving birth to Zolani, therefore my fitness levels are not up to scratch and only hold Shack back when we have to go for morning runs together. 

Thuli is not much of a runner. All we had to do was 5km and she hated every minute of the run. She kept on stopping and wanting to walk rather than run. It took us 40 minutes to do 5km. Hai khona!

We got back and took nice hot showers – separately of course. She dressed up in a cool summer maxi-dress and white all stars. She is very stylish too. I did not realise this about her until now. She smells very nice too and her hair is neatly tied into bun. She really is a very beautiful lady. She has been up all night working on her mother’s business stuff, so her eyes are slightly puffy. She uses some make-up to hide that. Good girl. 

We are now driving to the hospital in my stunning Range Rover Evogue. It was a gift from Shack for giving birth to Zolani. I got a BMW 3-series when I gave birth to Lethu. I must give him one more baby and hope for a Bentley. 

“Tee-le’s parents were so brutal against Khosi, yoh. If I weren’t scared of them, I would have definitely taken a video”, I say. 

“I have met his sister. It was back in the day when I was still with Uyanda. She was always getting into trouble and Tee-le would always make me talk some sense into her after he had bailed her out. I can definitely believe that she got that attitude from her mother”, she says. 

“Hawu, so you have met his family?” I ask her. This love story has been brewing. It seems as though Yaya has always been in the way. 

“I met her because she was a rebellious young girl who needed guidance, not because Tee-le took me to meet his family.” She says as she chuckles. 

“Well, naye ukhona and naye she gave Khosi a good piece of her mind too.” I say. 

“Khosi just needs to calm down. Her sensitivity levels are very low and her selfish nature always overcomes her”, she says. 

“Khosi is selfish – period! She is not the kind of woman that Tee-le deserves. Tee-le is a good man with a promising future ahead of him, whether he stays in the league or not. He should not be with a woman like Nobukhosi who thrives upon spending people’s money instead of making her own. UKhosi yile-type eyijoliswa indlala and a woman like that can be very dangerous in the life of a good man like Tee-le. If you ask me, uNobukhosi ikati yasemgwaqeni nje”. 

“Hai bo, Renay. Those are some very harsh words”. She says to me. 

“Tell me, Thuli, what really happened with Uyanda?” I ask her. We never really got the full story about this break-up. 

“I think he was already seeing Bethelehem girl. I used to think that the mother of his child was the problem in our relationship, but I am sure now more than ever that Uyanda checked out of that relationship a very long time ago. Bethlehem girl was just the extended hand that pulled him out”, she says. 

“Yaz, you are very polite. Uhlonipha ngisho the baby-mama umbiza ngokuthi she is the mother of his child.” This girl is humble and I need to highlight this to her. This is a very rare quality amongst the WAGs. 

“Well, Uyanda told me that he was going away for the weekend with his son because he wanted to spend time with him. Khosi saw through him, but she suspected that Ndalo had gone with him. She also had no idea that he was there with Bethlehem girl. Khosi decided to call the place that Uyanda said he would be at to find out who he was there with. Uyanda got upset and threw me out of his place and that was the end of it”. She explains. 

“You didn’t deserve that. Khosi also needs to learn”. I say. 

“Yeah, I was also upset and blamed her for everything, but honestly, it wasn’t on her. Uyanda would have stayed with me if he wanted to. Uyanda was just waiting for an excuse to let me go and Khosi gave it to him on a silver platter”. She says. She is so sad. She seems so empty inside, as if she has nothing left to give. 

I hold her hand. I see her wipe tears racing down her face. 

We arrive at the hospital. Thuli starts at the gift shop downstairs and buys some flowers. She is so thoughtful. I also purchase a bunch so that I do not walk into the room empty handed. We use the elevators instead of the stairs because Thuli is complaining about her legs being painful from our morning run; the run that took us 40 minutes to cover 5km. 

“Sis’Thuli, it is so nice to see you. Hi”, Tee-le’s sister runs to greet Thuli. This is good. 

“Hello muhlez. I’m so sorry about your brother, neh?” Thuli, her humble soul. 

“Thank you. Come meet my parents”, the girl says. 

We both walk towards the parents. The young girl introduces us to the parents and we tell the parents how we know Tee-le. The mother is not rude to us. She is actually nice enough to let us into the room to see Tee-le. Thuli and I walk in and Thuli pauses at the door, shook by the machines that Tee-le is connected to. 

“Are you okay?” I ask her.

“I have hope that he will heal. You should have the same hope”, Tee-le’s mother says. 

“He is just so…” Thuli struggles to finish her sentence. She becomes emotional. Tee-le’s mother hugs her. The sister features herself in this hug. When the hug is done, Thuli walks towards the bed and she starts brushing Tee-le’s forehead. She speaks to him. 

“T, I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish I knew what happened that night or who did this to you. But I know, Tee-le, ukuthi this is only one of those things that are going to prove just how strong you are. You need to come back, T. Akusona isikhathi sakho. You still need to have all those kids you told me you’d force to follow their dreams and become the best versions of themselves. I refuse to believe that your job here on earth is done. Your mom is still waiting for you to give her a makoti. You owe her one hell of a wedding so the Sebokeng community can see how the Serames marry in true style.” 

The family chuckles. I am in tears. Thuli loves Tee-le. She knows things about him that I highly doubt even Khosi knows. 

“Please wake up, T. I also need to thank you for the mercy that you showed me in my darkest hour”. She says. 

She holds his hand. 

“Mama, do you mind if I pray this rosary that is around his neck?” She asks Tee-le’s mother. 

“Are you Catholic as well?” Tee-le’s mother asks with so much euphoria. Thuli nods her head. 

“We can all pray it together, if you don’t mind, sisi”. Tee-le’s mother says, looking at me when asking if we all do not mind. 

“I don’t mind at all, mama”, I say. I am not coming between what has clearly been written in the stars. 

The family and Thuli pray the rosary together. I just have my eyes closed. After the amen, that moment that they share together is everything. Tee-le needs to wake up and help us write this story. My job here is close to being done. 

…

“Thank you for dinner tonight, my love”, I say as we walk into the hotel room that he has booked us in for the night. 

“You are always welcome, beautiful”, he says.

This is the third night that we have spent in a hotel having plentiful sex. 

“Babe, you know that I live alone right? We don’t have to sleep in hotels every night. I am happy for us to sleep at my place. Hotels are so impersonal and it just makes our relationship feel like a dirty secret”, I tell him. 

“But you know that is not how I view what we share, my love”, he says. 

“I know, but it is already bad enough that I am having an affair with you. I just don’t want to be your dirty little secret that you hide in hotels”, I say. 

“I hear you. We will spend the rest of this week in your apartment”, he promises me. This is concluded with good sex. 

…

“I need to call Tshepi”, I say when we are done showering. 

“How is Tee-le doing?” he asks me. 

“I don’t know. Tshepi is also dealing with a lot concerning her relationship as well”, I say. 

“That girl is a bit forward. She should not have got into a relationship with Mbatha. She came here to work, not break relationships apart and date the players. That move was very unprofessional of her. She is lucky that she is not in senior management because the board would have removed her from her role”, he says. 

“How could you say something like that? When is Uyanda going to be held accountable for the role that he played in all of this?” I protect my friend. 

“Babe, your friend was unprofessional. Her little act of unprofessionalism could cost many investors a lot of money. Those boys lost a game because of a fight that broke out about that girl Uyanda left for your friend. It is evident that Mbatha is not over that girl. Your friend compromised herself for a man who does not want her the same way he wants his ex. She was nothing but a distraction, darling. Now she looks stupid, unprofessional and compromised.” He says. 

I get so upset. I start getting dressing. 

“Where are you going, darling?” he asks me. 

“Home”, I say aggressively. 

“Because I told you the truth? Come on sweetheart, if we cannot be honest with each other then we do not have a future together” he says. 

“You are being rude. That is not being honest”, I tell him. 

“You and your friend are very naïve if you believe that the other woman ever gets the happily ever after”, he says. 

“Does that apply to me too?” I ask him. 

“Sweetheart, I am never going to marry you. I can give you anything you want in this world, but I will never leave my wife for you”. He says. 

What was I thinking listening to my sister? I should have stuck it out for Bangz. I am out of here. 

…

I arrive at the hospital for the evening visiting hour to see how Tee-le is doing. Uyanda has been giving me the cold shoulder since he came back from Mpumalanga, but at least he came with me to the hospital. I am also in good spirits because Phatsima is in Tholoana Kingdom and is staying with me. I left her at home with the nanny that Uyanda hired for us. 

We walk towards the squad of players and my stomach takes a turn for the worst when I see Thuli having coffee with Renay, Lando, Carmen and Paula. They all look at me and they all spot my discomfort. Yaya has stopped walking and he is staring at Thuli as if he has so much more to still say to her. Lando, Paula, Carmen and Renay chuckle. My body can feel them talking about me. 

Oh, my goodness! Thuli is walking towards us. I do not know what to say or what to do. I just stand next to Uyanda and prepare myself for her to do her worst. She arrives and hugs Uyanda first. Uyanda embraces her – sensually embraces her. 

“I am so sorry about Tee-le, Yaya. I really hope the new woman in your life is taking good care of you during this time”, she says. This bitch! Uyanda giggles. 

“I just wanted to come and say hi. I will be sure to not overstay my welcome. I know how bothered your woman will be if we chat for too long. There will always be one Thuli Mabote. Yena, she did take you from me right under my nose, shame. Yet, we both know that if I still wanted you, we would feed her the dust that rests in the streets of Bethlehem. Please tell her, for me neh, she must stop playing around with things that do not belong to her. Next time, life will not be so kind to her.”

She looks at me as if waiting for a response from me. Uyanda is looking at me too. The smug on his face pisses me off. Thuli is not as nice as people think she is. She is a bitch and she wants me to know it. She looks at Yaya again and says, “Give Phendu a big kiss for me okay? Tell him auntie Thuli will always love him. And no matter what, I will always be his only second mommy.” I am going to smack this bitch. She is going to bring out the Bethelehem girl in me. Her new friends are dying of laughter. 

“What kind of kiss would you like me to give Phendu? Demonstrate phela”, that would be stupid Uyanda! 

“Don’t you dare!” I roar. Now everyone is staring. She and I stare at each other. Then… Yes… the bitch kisses him on the lips in front of me. Then she looks at me and says, “What do you think you are going to do to me?” 

I am breathing heavily.

“You are going to do nothing, you know how I know? Coz you inserted yourself in our relationship and made sure that we shared this penis. Go fix your own marriage with the father of your child and stay away from people’s husbands!” I felt that and Yaya does not defend me. Everyone is starring.

“Uyanda, are you going to let this happen?” I ask him. 

“What do you want him to do? Protect you from me? Is that how it works in Bethlehem? You should thank your ancestors that I am done with Uyanda because if I wasn’t, I’d have him back by now and you know it.”. She says, with that she leaves us and heads back to her friends who receive her with a hug. Uyanda is still staring at her. He does not even notice when I leave. 

…

I get home and open a bottle of wine. Phatsima is fast asleep and the nanny left as soon as I got home. Uyanda embarrassed me today. I have never felt so small in my life. Women are evil. The whole lot of the WAGs fed off my weakness and embarrassment tonight. That Thuli girl yena, why is she here? What is she doing in Tholoana Kingdom? She should be in Mpumalanga. Has she come back for Uyanda? What exactly happened when Uyanda went to Mpumalanga to try and give her that M2 back? The same M2 parked in Uyanda’s garage that I am not even allowed to touch. To make matters worse, Yaya did not come after me when I left. He has not called me or checked up on whether or not I got home safely. 

 Yerrrrr! I’m livid!

I dial Uyanda. I need some answers. He answers after two rings. 

“Retshepile”

“Uyanda, what the fuck was that tonight at the hospital? You let that girl humiliate me in front of everyone. What the hell is wrong with you? Keng? Do you still want to be with her?” I lash out. 

He is quiet. 

“Uyanda, I am talking to you!” I shout.

He hangs up. 

This bastard! 

I let out a loud scream out of frustration. 

“Mommy”, I hear my daughter’s voice.

“Nana, I am so sorry. Did I wake you up?” 

“No. I pretended to be asleep so that the nanny would leave me alone. But I didn’t want to sleep before I saw you. You have been working all day”, she says. 

I chuckle. She smiles. 

“Come, let’s make some hot chocolate”, I say. 

She gets excited. 

I am angry, but my daughter makes me feel like an important human being who has a purpose and space on this planet. We make hot chocolate with marshmallows; it is kind of our thing. We get a fleece blanket and chill on our couch in the TV room, sipping on our hot chocolate.

“Mommy, are we going to be seeing daddy anytime soon?” she asks me. 

“I don’t know, nana. Things are a little bit complicated right now. Daddy wanted to take you away from me and make sure that I never see you again”, I tell her. 

“Daddy said that you don’t like us anymore and that you had a new life here in Tholoana Kingdom”, she says.

“I could never have a life without you, Phatsima. You are my life”, I say. 

She nods her head. 

“I don’t want to choose between you and dad”, she says. 

“I don’t expect you to. Please give me some time to figure things out then we will make a plan, okay?” 

She nods her head. Then she says, “Will Uncle Yaya be my new dad?” 

I do not even know what the answer to this is. Uncle Yaya does not know where he stands. 

“Phatsima, you have two parents. Your parents are Retshepile and Phathudi. No one is going to ever replace us in your life, okay?” 

She nods her head. 

“Do you want to call your dad?” I ask her. 

“Yes please”, she says and her face lights up.

I dial Phathudi. I do not put him on speaker because he will see my number and be an utter douche bag. 

“What do you want?” He says. I just knew he was going to be a bastard. 

“Your daughter wants to speak to you. Hold on”, I say. I put him on speaker. 

“Hello daddy”, Phatsima. 

“My baby girl. My heart just did cartwheels upon hearing your voice”, he says. 

She laughs. 

“I miss you, baby girl. Do you like it in that horrible city you live in now?” Phathudi.

“I miss you too, daddy. I like living with mom. You should come visit us some time. Mommy says you can come any time and you will stay here with us. Please come visit us, daddy”, Phatsima. 

I was not expecting this child to invite Phathudi into my apartment now. 

Good news by the way, I bought a house. It is a four-bedroom house with three bathrooms, a TV room and a dining area. It has two garages and a beautiful garden. I am making proper moves now that Phathudi is no longer pulling me back. Phatsima and I move into the house this weekend. We will move in with the domestic worker who will be helping us around the house. The nanny will come too, but Phatsi and I do not think it is necessary. Phatsima is ten years old. 

Phatsima tells her dad about the new house and that she will be getting a new pet, a puppy. She tells Phathudi that she will name her puppy Zoe. She tells her dad that she is excited about her new school and she is excited that it is a private school. 

As Phatsima speaks, I realise how well I have actually done for myself. I know that I am much better off without Phathudi. 

Phathudi promises Phatsi that he will come visit soon. Then he asks to speak to me. Phatsi hands me the phone. I take him off speaker. 

“Hi Phathudi”

“Am I off speaker?” He asks me. 

“Yeah”. I answer him. 

“So, this is what you have always wanted? To emasculate me in front of my daughter and make it seem like I am the useless parent and you are the one who makes things happen? You give her private schools, big houses and dogs and with me, she had to stay with grandmothers.” He says. 

“This is not about you. I refuse to have this conversation with you. We are no longer together, so I am not obliged to report or discuss anything with you anymore. When you and I communicate, it is about Phatsima and nothing else”. I tell him. 

“You are not getting a cent out of me for fees for that silly private school you have put her in”, he says. 

“I was never going to ask you. I don’t need you to contribute anything. It is your choice huri what kind of father you want to be to Phatsima. I am not going to beg you to be anything to her.” I say. 

“You are ungrateful! After everything that I have done for you – 

I hang up. 

“Is everything okay, mommy?” Phatsi. 

“Everything is fine, nana. Let’s go to sleep”.

“Can I sleep in your room with you today?” 

“Definitely.”