My mom thinks it’s a good idea for Keith to be involved in Selaelo’s life, but he has to pay damages. Legally, Selaelo was always going to be Keith’s son and he was always going to have Keith’s last name. But, shit changed six months into my pregnancy and now, Selaelo has my surname. My mom told Keith – while Keith was here spending time with his son – that he has to do the right thing and pay damages for Selaelo. Keith didn’t even fight it. He even went to the extent of saying that he wants Selaelo to have his last name as well, so he’s prepared to pay just about anything for that to happen. 

So here we are today, getting ready to have Selaelo’s surname changed to Nkuna. The tricky thing about this is that I have to go sleep over next door (i.e. habo Keith) because Selaelo has to sleep there for the night after today’s ceremony.

The ululating in the living room tells me that all has gone well. I know Keith is not there because he told me that he’s people said he should stay at home. But he’s very excited. 

My mom’s sister whom I call “Mzala” (I also don’t know why) comes in to fetch Selaelo. My son is fast asleep and he’s about to be paraded by drinking relatives just so they can ensure that he looks like someone that they recognize. 

Sigh! 

I hope he screams his lungs out! 

But shame, he does nothing of the sort. He’s just peaceful as everyone looks at him with teary eyes. I understand. My son is perfect. Then there’s one drunk uncle who says, “Makoti, you really made this handsome boy in a lab? Why didn’t you and our son just have sex like everyone else? Ai, you’ve got money to play!” 

First of all, I’m not his makoti.

Keith’s mother picks up that I’m already pissed off, so she says, “Heh eh man, Charlie! Keith is married and Bassie is not that kind of girl!” 

“But when they made this child – 

“AKOTHULE!” All the women yell at him. 

“Ai! Gosiame! My boy-boy Keith will explain it to me”, he says. 

I hope he’s going home today and not sleeping over! 

I see Keith arrive with his two brothers and their wives as lunch is being served. He finds me chilling outside with Mzala. It’s a bit cold today. I have Selaelo with me because I’m scared to just leave him sleeping in the bedroom while the house is so busy. So, he’s passed out and I have thrown his baby blanket over him. 

“Keith! Ke wena motho oe?!” Mzala says.

“Mzala, how are you?” Keith says. 

They hug.

“Heh! Wena you betrayed us! You went and married some snob when you know we’ve been preparing Bassie for you!” Mzala mara. 

“Mzala!” Me. 

“Hai keng wena!” Mzala shuts me up. 

Keith is just laughing. 

His brothers have gone into the house with their wives. 

“How’s Mr Nkuna there?” Keith asks me. 

“In and out of sleep. I’ve just fed him, so he’s out like a light”, I say.

He smiles at me.

“Would you like to hold him then I’ll get you a plate to eat?” Me. 

He gets so excited. 

I hand Selaelo over to him. 

I go into the house and get him a plate. I decide to dish up enough for the two of us to eat because I’m also feeling a bit hungry. My mom and cooking guys! I don’t why this isn’t a proper business! This food!

I’m back outside with a car seat so that Selaelo can chill there while we eat. Mzala is sitting with us. I don’t know where she got a plate from. She’s just giving Keith and I eyes.

“I was thinking…” Keith begins.

I look at him.

“We could go to Home Affairs tomorrow morning and change his surname”, he says.

I just nod my head. 

“And my family will probably want to give him a xiTsonga name”, he says. 

“It’s nice to see your father here”, I say. 

“I don’t know where my mom found him. But she did. And now he’s just calling shots and forgetting that he left his wife and children when his children were barely men. I grew up Sotho with a Tsonga surname. Now my son will go through the same shit.” He’s suddenly angry. 

“Your son has you, Keith. And you are nothing like your father.” I say.

He looks at me. Stares at me, actually. 

“Drinks?” Mzala offers us with a coke in her hand and water for me. 

“Thanks mzala”, Keith says. 

Mzala leaves. 

“And yes, we can go to Home Affairs. You better make sure that you like whatever name they give him because I’d like it to appear first on the birth certificate”, I say.

He stops eating and looks at me. 

“Don’t do that, Keith. Please.” Me. 

He knows what I mean.

He changes the subject and says, “I bought him a new car seat, cot and pram.” 

“What’s wrong with the ones that he has?” I ask him.

“The ones I got for him are a Ferrari set. Only the best for my boy”, he says. 

“Well, Sipho bought him these.” I say. 

“Who is Sipho?” He asks me. And not in a nice way. 

“This guy from where we stay in Soweto. He’s so sweet and I think he likes me. When you ditched me with this pregnancy, he stepped up and helped me. He bought me all these things so the baby would land okay. He worked extra shifts at the mine and all just to support us. And he said he would help me raise Selaelo.”

“That’s not going to happen.” 

I chuckle because he’s jealous. 

“Well –

“And my son will not have shit bought from Checkers when he can have Ferrari branded shit.”

“Sipho spent the little money that he does have to make sure that he would have these things. It would be rude to –

“Don’t make me burn this shit, Basetsana.” 

I look away and just giggle. 

Ja neh.

At 2pm, we are walking to habo Keith, next door. I sit in Keith’s room as Keith has gone into some ancestral room with Selaelo to introduce Selaelo to their ancestors. I just sit here and play on my phone. I need to start getting back to Soweto and get back to my life. I was chatting to Wandi and she told me that Morafe has moved out. Hectic! Wandi is also getting married soon so that means she will also be moving out. I need to do better with my life so that I can also move out and give my child a good life. I know Keith will make sure that his son lives a Ferrari lifestyle, but I also need to pull my weight as his mother. 

I’m about to doze off when Keith walks in with Selaelo. Selaelo is wide awake and is crying. He’s not screaming though. So, something probably pissed him off. Keith is laughing as he hands him over to me. 

“What’s wrong?” I ask. 

“He’s also annoyed by Uncle Rodney.”

We laugh.

I don’t like Uncle Rodney neither. 

“Askies wena Selaelo waka“, I say to my son as I soothe him. 

Keith smiles at us then says, “Mommy, they named him Risuna. Risuna Selaelo Nkuna.” 

“Do you like the name?” I ask him. He is smiling from ear to ear. 

“I love it. It means valuable and precious. That is exactly what he is to me. To us.” He tells me. 

I smile at him. 

11pm

Keith has created a bed for himself on the floor with pillows and extra blankets. Risuna and I are on the bed. But Risuna is refusing to sleep. He’s not crying or anything. He just wants to play. It’s the noise outside. There’s music and drunk people going on and on. 

“Keith!” I yell at him. 

He’s not going to sleep while I struggle alone like this.

“What?!” 

“Come entertain your son!” I say. 

“I thought you guys trained him for noise and shit. Wasn’t he sleeping in front of TVs for such moments?” 

“Keith!” 

He comes and lies on the bed. 

“Risuna, you need to sleep. Please.” Keith.

Risuna just plays and rolls about. 

I laugh at Keith. 

He smiles at me. 

He sits up. 

We both watch our son play about. 

“He’s perfect, isn’t he?” I say.

“More than words can say. Thank you”, he says. 

“I wish he were born under different circumstances. He deserves a warm home with a nuclear family where he will see mom and dad every day, waking up in one house.” I say. 

He looks at me. 

I look at him. 

“We can make it happen”, he says. 

“Keith please. How? You are married and –

“I can get us a decent duplex and the three of us can live together”, he says. 

“While you are still married to Mrs Nkuna?” Me. 

“I can’t divorce her, Bassie.”

“So you’ve told me”, I say. 

“I wish I-

“Keith, I was just thinking out loud. We don’t need to keep talking about this. I don’t need you to –

“Bassie…”

I look at him. 

He looks at me. 

“For him, let’s move in together.” He says. 

I look away. 

…

This kid doesn’t like sleep. I’m convinced. He slept after 2am. When I woke up to go take a piss this morning at 6am, he was already awake, just lying in bed and playing with his hands. So, I decide to take him to the TV room. It’s a bit hot today anyway. So, I’ll open the door in the TV room and chill with him. 

His mom pumped her boob for him, so I’ll feed him that milk. Basetsana is fast asleep and I know she’s not waking up any time soon. She even passed out at 1am and left me with my son. I stayed up until he was asleep. 

“Eh monna? You can’t sleep or you actually slept in here?” I say as I stumble upon my brother in the TV room. He’s lying on the couch and the door is wide open for some fresh air.

“Masingita is fighting with me, so…” Masingita is his wife. 

“Sorry man.” I say as I sit down. 

“You are really good with that little champ”, he says. 

“Thanks. I want to be his dad, you know. Like full time and hands on. I can’t begin to explain to you how grateful I am that Basetsana is not making this difficult for me.” I say. 

“You know, we all thought the two of you would end up getting married. I mean, you’ve always been close. It was close to impossible seeing you marry someone who wasn’t her. And when you told me about that surrogacy shit, I knew it was a shit storm waiting to happen”, he tells me. His name is Michael. He is the eldest. 

“You guys are in here? Where’s the beer? Or are you grannies waiting for tea perhaps?” That would be the middle brother, Samuel. I come after him. 

We are all topless as we sit here. I took Risuna’s top off at night because he was sweating. So, he’s also chilling here with us topless while I feed him his bottle. 

“Why are you up so early?” I ask him. 

“Coz it’s fucken hot. How are we supposed to sleep through this heat?” Sam says. 

“When are mom and the sperm donor getting a divorce?” I ask them. 

“We’ve been telling the o’lady to let that useless man go. But mom’s generation stays in marriage no matter what – just to say death did them part.” Michael says. 

“I honestly hate how she even still invites him to shit“, me. 

“Where does he even live now?” Samuel asks. 

“Limpopo, apparently. I don’t know where.” Michael.

“How do you know that?” Me. 

“That’s where mom and I went to look for him so he could be here for the welcoming of Risuna”, Michael. 

“Is he living decently?” Samuel. 

“He lives in a shoe box with some woman.” Michael. 

“What did mom say when she saw the woman?” Me. 

“She just cried. But the minute he got into the car, she still gave him a kiss.” Michael. 

“Bullshit“, I say. 

We are quiet. 

“Hello Rodney’s sons!” Where the hell is Uncle Rodney coming from so early in the morning and so drunk? 

I’m already laughing and my son is done eating, so I’m getting him to burb.

“Dijo di kai? Ke lapile jwang!” He wants food?! Really?! Does he see his wife here? 

I get up to fix him a plate because I’m the youngest. Michael offers to hold Risuna for me while I do so and I’m cool with it. 

It takes me a few minutes to warm us all food from yesterday. I give my brothers and Uncle Rodney their plates. I have mine too. I go grab the car seat that I bought for my kid and I put him there as we eat. 

“Why are you boys not talking to Musa? You know he’s your father akere?” Uncle Rodney says. 

“We don’t even want him here. He left this house.” Samuel. 

“Sammy…. we don’t say that about the man who was making your mom scream all night huh!” 

We all literally stop eating. 

I honestly thought it was one of my brothers fucking their wives. Now I must deal with the fact that my mom was moaning and screaming like that all night?

“I thought that was Sam!” I say. 

“I thought it was Mike!” Sam says.

“I thought it was Keith finally doing the Lord’s work!” Michael says. 

“It was you father honouring his wife. Ke neng ausi waka anyorile!” Uncle Rodney needs to stop this. 

“Malume, please. Stop it!” Michael says.

We’ve literally all lost our appetite. 

“I’m going to shower and wake Bassie up. We need to go to Home Affairs for Risuna’s things.” I say as I stand up. 

“O tlo mo nyala ngwanyana oe?” My uncle asks me. 

I just look at him and head to my room with my kid. 

…

I’m strapping my son into his car seat at the back of my black Range Rover Sport. Bassie was done getting ready when we left the house. Risuna’s bag was packed and everything. I don’t understand what she’s still doing in the house or who she’s still talking to, but she needs to hurry up. I don’t want Musa waking up from fucking my mom all night and actually thinking he can talk to me. 

“Can I come with you guys? I’m avoiding my wife. Please.” Michael says to me.

What exactly happened between these two?

“Ja, I’m sure it’s fine. Besides, Bassie says she’s sitting at the back with this one.” I say.

“Thanks.” He says and climbs into my front passenger seat. 

I have to stand here and wait for Bassie to come out of the house because Risuna screams when he’s alone back here. 

She finally walks out of the house. Finally. 

As soon as she gets to the car, I ask her, “What the hell were you still doing in there?” 

“My makeup. Le wena why are you rushing me? We are going to be there the whole day anyway. Do you know home affairs?” She says. 

I just laugh and shake my head. 

I take the bag she has from her and put it in the boot as she gets into the backseat with Risuna. I hear her chatting to Michael. 

I get in the car. We are finally ready to go. 

–

We didn’t take too long at home affairs. Michael knows someone who helped us skipped the cue and we were done within thirty minutes. Then we went to the mall because I wanted Bassie to buy whatever was still outstanding for Risuna. She went crazy with my black card. I even told her to get herself whatever she wanted. She didn’t hold back shame. 

But while she’s in the mall, my brother and I catch up while my son chills on my lap. We stayed in the car. 

“What’s going on between you and Masingita?” I ask my Michael. 

He’s instantly depressed. It must be really bad. 

“Okay, you don’t have to tell me. Askies.” I say. 

“No, it’s not that. It’s just… Ntsuku is not my son. And I’m struggling to bring myself to forgiving her or even being the same with Ntsuku.” 

What the hell did he just say?! 

I’m so shocked. 

“We were fighting and she just blurted it out. So, I raised another man’s son for twelve years. He has my surname and shit. I’m so mad, Keith. And I don’t know how to stop this rage from rampaging through my heart and my head. I’ve even stopped paying school fees for him. I’ve stopped doing shit for him. I know his mother doesn’t work, so he will probably be kicked out of school soon. You know how private schools are. I’m thinking of involving a lawyer.” He says. 

“Divorce?” I ask.

“Yeah. But also to disclose that I just found out that I’ve been raising a child that’s not mine under the impression that he is mine. If I let it slide for too long, upon the divorce, I’ll be forced to support him.” 

“Shit man. I’m so sorry”, I say. 

“To think my biological child is hidden because another woman is his mother. All this time I was respecting and honouring my wife by depriving my child the opportunity to know his family and me looking after him in secret… kanti I’m busy honouring a lying slut.”

Oh ja… I always forget about that child. 

“So, we will meet the other child? Like officially?” I ask him. 

“Yeah. It’s time.” 

“Not because you want to hurt Masingita?”

“I don’t give a fuck about Masingita anymore. She can fuck off for all I care.” 

It’s bad.

“And you? What’s your story? Baby mama versus wife?” He asks me. 

I actually laugh. Must he really put it like that? He laughs too. 

“Musai really gave us bad luck with women hey?” He says.

“Nah. Musa chose to be an asshole. We vowed to treat our wives way better than he ever treated our mother. We just got wives that never permitted that”, I say. 

“Except for Sam.” He says. 

“Lucky him”, I say. 

“You could’ve had that too. You know you could’ve had that with Bassie.”

“Don’t start”.

“I’m going to start. We’ve had our speeches for your wedding to that girl prepared since you and her were teenagers. Imagine our shock when we hear that you were marrying some snob who is the daughter of some minister? Then imagine our heart attacks when you tell us that Bassie would not only be your surrogate, but she’s donating an egg too because your wife can’t produce eggs or carry kids.”

“She’s my best friend. I couldn’t think of a better person to –

“I could have. A stranger. And I told you that! I told you to not make a baby with the love of your life then think your wife would raise it. When Noria wanted out of that deal, I didn’t blame her. I don’t understand why she agreed in the first place”, he says.

“I couldn’t be absent in my son’s life, Mike. I was always going to raise my son.” I say. 

“And you are a good man for that. But where is your marriage right now?” He asks me. 

“It’s done. We won’t officially get a divorce because of everything we’ve accumulated together and for the sake of public appearances –

“Keith, fuck that! File for a divorce. Let her have everything. You will start over and you will be okay. Because now, you are being unfair to Bassie and Risuna. Bassie can’t move on with her life because you are there. But she can’t be with you neither because you are legally married. Don’t do that. Divorce Noria. Take whatever it comes with. Then truly move on”, he says. 

“You think?” Me. 

“I know”, he says.

I actually think about it.