I decided to take my sisters to Gold Reef City today. My mom annoyed all of us. She has a new man and when my mom has a new man, trouble is coming.

I have three sisters. The first born is Zoe, then I’m the second born (Bridgette), after me is Kayla, and the last born is Amanda. We all have different fathers. I’m not kidding. My mom is the kind of woman who sees a need to give all her boyfriends a child. She keeps saying that if she could just have one boy… she says men never leave women who give them sons. Imagine how my sisters and I feel!

We wouldn’t be mad at her for having babies with every man if she could actually afford these kids. But no, if I were to tell you how we make ends meet neh…
My mom is a teacher. But she never has money. She’s always helping these men of hers pay off their debt or she’s paying off so much debt of her own because the last man she was with left her with crap loads of debt. Her tough times LAST! I feel sorry for Zoe. She’s seen every man that has come into my mom’s life just to leave her with a daughter and debt. Amanda has seen the least because her dad was the last man who left my mom with debt and a daughter.  Now a new man has arrived and we just know!!!

Kayla and Amanda are in primary school. So, they don’t work. They are not legal enough to work. Zoe is a call centre consultant, and her job doesn’t pay her much. Also, she refuses to aid my mom’s selfish decisions. Refuses. Amanda’s father left my mom so broke that we had to sell my grandmother’s house – the house we all lived in – and move into a shack. My mother’s siblings still refuse to speak to her because of that. They cut all of us off. 

I didn’t want to starve. Like ever. So, I paid attention when girls that had fancy weaves and nice clothes at school spoke about the men that sponsored that lifestyle for them. Once I had learned enough and informed my conscience to go on mute until I can afford to have a conscience, I asked one of the girls to introduce to a man who would make life easier for me. She took me to a party where I met a man who wanted my body in exchange for money and I’ve been living this life since grade nine. I managed to get my family out of the shack and now we have a three bedroom apartment in Crystal Park. Zoe and I share a room. Kayla and Amanda share a room. My mom sleeps alone. It has a TV room and a kitchen plus a garden. I’ve worked hard – very hard – endured unspeakable things – to get my family here. I do have a consistent blesser now as well who has even helped me get into Tholoana University. But I entertain him and his friends for my salary. There’s no love there at all. I’m a little disheartened because now that we are finding our feet after an extreme rough patch, my mom decides it’s time to find a new man who will help her try for a son. I can’t wait to leave this place. I cannot wait! Cabanga, I pay for my sisters’ fees. I have an irresponsible and unreasonable mother. Honestly. 

My boyfriend brought us to Gold Reef City with his dad’s car. Yes, I do have a man. His name is Bongani. And no, he has absolutely no idea what it is that I do for a living. He thinks I do piece jobs and that the heavy lifting in our household is done by Zoe. Bongani’s profession is…. He’s that guy in the township that everyone calls if something needs to be done in their yard then they give him R100 to say thank you. We met at church. His father is the pastor at our church. He’s a good-looking man and he genuinely makes my soul happy. I hate that I do the work that I do behind his back because shame, he tries yena to provide for me. But all he can provide is bread – maybe pizza on a good day – but that’s about it. I need more than that. And while I understand that it’s unfair to demand that from him, I demand it from somewhere else and I’ve made peace with the fact that I’ll never see the door to heaven. 

My siblings had fun today. Spoonkie kept them laughing all day. Spoonkie is Bongani’s best friend. I don’t like him. He has absolutely no ambition in life, and he leeches off the little bit that Bongani actually has in life. He does nothing in life. Nothing. He’s the CEO of Loxion Management and I hate him! The feeling is very mutual on his end because he hates me too. He’s the one who keeps hinting to Bongani that I’m a prostitute. I don’t know how he knows, but he knows. And I live to deny deny deny! I make him look crazy. It got to a point where Spoonkie and Bongani stopped talking. Bongani felt like Spoonkie was disrespecting his girl – which he was – and Spoonkie couldn’t believe that Bongani would choose me over him. Does he sleep with my man perhaps? 

We are now driving back to Benoni. The plan is to drop us off at Crystal Park first then Bongani and Spoonkie head to Daveyton together. That’s where they live. But… the car stops in the middle of some highway. I’m immediately annoyed. It’s even worse when my sisters and I have to assist to push the car to the side of the road. Mess! 
“Don’t you have roadside assist?” Amanda asks a very relevant question.
But this is a VW Fox. That car is even older than me! I don’t imagine VW offering roadside assistance for that car. 
Spoonkie and Bongani look at her like she’s being spoiled. I’m just wondering what the plan will be. Because me…. I’ll phone an Uber or a bolt to take my sisters and I home. I don’t know what these two will do. But let me be a girlfriend. 
I walk up to Bongani who is now on his phone. 
“What’s going on?” I ask him.
“It’s out of petrol”, he says.
I can’t! 
“Why didn’t you say that we’d need petrol, Bongani?” I’m actually getting angry now. 
“I thought beyizosifikisa”, he says. 
So, this is an “I know my car” moment. Wow! 
“Now what?” I ask. 
Spoonkie has removed himself from the conversation because he never has money. Even today, I paid for everything… including his entrance and his food. My prostitution money paid for him to eat and have fun today. 
“I need to go and get petrol at the nearest petrol station”, he says, frustrated. 
“How much do you need?” I ask him, equally frustrated. 
“R500”. He says, embarrassed.
“It’s fine, I’ll give you my card. You can swipe R1000 for that petrol. I’ll order a bolt that will take you to the petrol station and bring you back.” 
He looks at me like he wants to stop me.
“I want to go home. We can fight about this another day.” I’m already ordering the bolt and giving him my card. 
At least he says thank you. 

Bongani has gone with the bolt to get petrol. He made Spoonkie stay with us because it’s dark, it’s late and we are all girls. Mxm. 
“I wish you didn’t have to go to school in a whole other country.” Kayla says.
“I’m with Kayla on this one. You know we deal with mom’s nonsense together”, Amanda. 
“We need to get out of the nest and see life. At some point, we will have to leave mom in her mess while we move on with our lives”, I say. 
“I wish I could move out”, Zoe. 
“I think mom should move back to the shack and we live alone in the flat. I just know that this man has come for our home”, Amanda. 
“Mom would never go back”, Zoe.
“But she’s not paying for this house. So, it’s time we laid down some rules for her”, Amanda. 
We actually think about it. 

Bongani is back. Spoonkie finds his friend then they both put petrol in the car and water in the engine because something was overheating. 
“I hope the car doesn’t blow up with us inside of it”, Kayla. 
We all just get back into the car and the car takes off. The ride back to Benoni is silent. 

As we approach a McDonald’s in Benoni, Spoonkie announces how hungry he is. Bongani looks at me through his rear view mirror. I look out the window. He should actually return my card. Bongani drives right past the McDonald’s. Amanda starts giggling. Kayla too. Zoe and I just look at each other. 

We get to our place. 
The car doesn’t go past the security gate. 
Bongani climbs out the car. 
“Can you come home with me tonight?” He asks me. 
“I need to finish packing and I don’t like your friend.” I say. 
“Ngiyakucela. Please.” He says. 
I think about it a bit. 
“Please, baby.” 
“Fine. Let me get an overnight bag. Ngiyeza.”
“Ngiyabonga”, he says. 
My sisters and I head to our flat. 
We knock. 
My mom doesn’t open for us. 
We know she’s here because her car is in the parking lot. 
“MOMMY!” Kayla and Amanda yell as we all bang on the door. The neighbours now come out of their apartments. Someone then says she will get maintenance to come open with a master key. Only then we hear the door click open.
Zoe is FURIOUS!
She barges into the house and pushes my mother back into the house. 
The three of us are right behind her.
“WHAT THE HELL?!” Zoe.
“DON’T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!” My mom. 
“HOW DARE YOU! YOU LOCK US OUT OF OUR OWN HOME! THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE AND WE ARE TIRED OF YOUR SELFISHNESS!” Zoe.
“NOT MY HOUSE?! THEN WHOSE HOUSE IS IT?!” My mom. 
“BRIDGETTE’S”, Kayla and Amanda say collectively.
My mom is genuinely heartbroken. 
“HOW MUCH IS THE RENT OF THIS PLACE?!” Zoe. 
My mom is silent. 
“EXACTLY! NOW PLEASE DISMISS WHATEVER MAN YOU HAVE IN HERE! FOR A CHANGE, LET YOUR MEN BE THE ONES TO LET YOU CRASH IN THEIR HOUSES AND DRIVE THEIR CARS! GO AND TURN THEIR CHILDREN’S LIVES UPSIDE DOWN AND GIVE US A FUCKEN BREAK! SIKHATHELE! GO HAVE YOU FIFTH CHILD SOMEWHERE ELSE AND DON’T MAKE IT OUR RESPONSIBILITY!” Zoe. 
My mom is even crying. 
“Mom, you can’t even pay our school fees. Breezy has to make a plan for us. Zoe and Breezy make a plan for our food and just for us to get by. Why do you keep bringing extra mouths to feed?” Kayla. 
“This is how you all feel?” Mom. 
“We feel that you need to make better decisions. We are tired of being uncomfortable in our own home”, I say. 
She heads back to her main bedroom and locks the door. 
The four of us look at each other. 
“Bongani wants me to go back home with him. He’s waiting outside. I can cancel him – 
“Go!” All three of my sisters say. 
“You sure you guys will be okay?” I ask. 
“We will just listen to mom have sex all night, but outside of that, we will be good.” Amanda.
Ja neh! 

…

“BONGANI! BONGANI!” Yoh that voice is aggressive. And it’s so early in the morning. Bongani is deep in his sleep next to me. We had a lot of sex last night. Thank God he has an outside room because we were both moaning and screaming and enjoying each other. I love Bongani. A lot. And when we have sex, we make love to one another. Sex with him is not business, it’s us genuinely appreciating and loving each other. Ngiyamthanda. In a perfect world where I have a responsible and selfless mother, I’d marry Bongani then come live in his back room with him, spending all my time just loving him. 
“BONGANI! BONGANI! BOOOONNNGGGGAAAAAANNNNIIII!” Yoh this voice!
“Baby”, I say shaking him. 
I kiss him then say, “baby, vuka! Your father is about to barge in here and I’m naked.” 
He actually laughs while his eyes are still closed. 
“Please respond to your dad.” Me. 
“Will you give me round seven? Continue from last night?” He says. He’s also naked. 
I really laugh. 
“EY WENA BONGANI!” 
“Yebo baba”, Bongani finally replies. 
“WOZA!” He says. 
“Ngiyeza”, Bongani. 
“MANJE”, he’s so angry. Yoh. 
Bongani lazily rolls out of bed. I throw his underwear at him. He looks at me and laughs, shaking his head at me. 
He wears pants and a t-shirt. 
He walks out of the room to meet with his dad. 

He doesn’t have a shower or a bathtub in here, so I’ll get clean at home. I just use the wet wipes that I packed to wipe myself clean-ish. I use Johnson&Johnson wipes to wipe my body. Then I use Garnier wipes to clean my face. I use my roll-on and lightly lotion myself. I wear a cute maxi dress and sandals. I make the bed then sit on the bean bag in here and play on my cellphone, checking my emails and messages. 
I see that Luther, my blesser, put in R55000 in my account for a job that I did for him two nights ago… a sexual job with a group of men he’s going into business with. I had to seal the deal with my body and my vagina. I’m not proud of anything that happened that night. But seeing the money in my bank account is reminding me that this is just a job. I feel at my own risk. 

Bongani walks back into the room. We look at each other. We smile at each other. 
“Are we in trouble?” I ask him. His dad sounded mad. 
“The old man just wanted me to go agree to painting Mam’Mavis’ house. She’s a senior at church so…”
“I understand. So, my dream of spending the day with you today is gone… just like that? To Mam’Mavis nogal?” 
He laughs. He sits next to me on this bean bag. We cuddle into each other. We kiss. 
“I’m going to miss you.” He says. 
“I’m going to miss you too. But I have to go to school. You can see the situation at home needs me to.” 
“I know. There’s just something inside of me that’s making me feel as if I’m spending time with you for the last time. You’ll meet people who are educated – more educated than I am – and forget all about me.” 
“Ngiyakuthanda, Bongani. That’s not a switch I can just turn off just because I’m away from you. And you’ll come visit me. Right?” 
He smiles at me. 
“You are my person. No one else can be my person but you.” I say. 
We kiss. 
He gives me a roll of R100 notes, neatly bundled in an elastic band. 
I look at him, enquiring what this is. 
“I want you to land okay. I’m not educated, but I’ll always make a plan for my woman. So, I did some extra jobs and told the gentlemen church about your journey. They did a collection just for you, my love. So, this is us saying farewell. Make us proud. When you come back, I’ll be right here with all my cows lined up, ready to marry you. I love you, Bridgette Masango.” 
I start crying. My hands are shaking. I cry on his chest. Gentlemen church is a service just for men where they uplift each other using the bible and life experience. 
“Don’t cry, baby. Please.” He keeps saying. But I cannot help it. 
“The amount of money amounts to R20000. It’s yours, my love”, he says. 
“I love you, Bongani. I love you so much. Ngiyabonga kakhulu.” I say. 
We even make love again, and this time, it’s sooooo…. It’s the world. It almost has me wishing that I could quit the work that I do, just for him. But what about my sisters? 
Eish. 

He’s finally taking me home. Spoonkie is obviously in the backseat. He’s going to help Bongani paint Mam’Mavis’ house. But they are going to drop me off at home first. I asked my sisters to prep a full breakfast for them. They need to eat before they work. 
By the time we park at the gate, my sisters are waiting for us with lunch boxes. They prepared breakfast and lunch for them. They are so happy – even Spoonkie. 
I really hate this guy! 
“Will you have time later? I can come with a bolt”, I say to Bongani. 
“Okay. We will come and fetch you, I don’t mind. But we will be talking throughout the day.”
“Okay. Have a good day, baby.” 
We kiss. 
He leaves. 
I head into the house.